So I was sitting on my couch curled up with a blanket watching American Hardcore by myself when all of a sudden my stomach started rumbling. I run to grab a magazine, pinching my ass cheeks as I hop to the bathroom. I sit down and this huge shit explosion splashes into the toilet soaking my ass with shit water.

Anyway, after I'm done, I go to pull up my underwear and I notice a small amount of a brownish mucus-like sludge in my undies. I tried to wash them in the sink and eventually just put them in a plastic bag to go out with the trash.

This is the third out of the last 4 nights that I have had the squirts. I think I have worms or something.

I hate when you feel like you have to fart, and when you push it out, it feels moist and you find out you leaked about a teaspoon of diarrhea in your pants.

starmummy said:

Why didn't you just wash them?

Ryan_M said:

I may never use a teaspoon again because of this.

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:


Uh, eww.

JDDomination said:

Hahaha I can picture having to make something that calls for a teaspoon of whatever:
"Oh God, some guy on RTTP made a post about having a teaspoon of diarrhea in his pants! Fuck this!"

starmummy said:


Where'd you get American Hardcore already?

Dissector NLI said:

It came out yesterday. Great movie and book.

hahaha that sucks, see i learned to control my bowels at a very young age.

this is definately the wrong thread for lunchtime entertainment...

b.e.t

starmummy said:

So you shit all over your own ass every single day for life, then clean it up with a dry piece of semi-absorbent paper. Then, while in the shower hours later you rinse luke-warm soapy water over your turdcutter for two and a half seconds and consider that clean. Yet having your washing machine vigorously clean your underpants in scalding hot water, soap, and bleech for 45 minutes after you've already removed most fecal remnants from said underpants is disgusting? Makes sense.

starmummy said:


Yeah saw the movie and read the book, I didn't know it came out already. I'll be picking that up tonight/

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:

i can see your point, but to me, once you've shit on some form of clothing, its tainted forever. i however dont get the whole "shitting your pants" thing. i havent shit my pants since i was little, i have control over my bodily functions. weirdos.

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:

Let me come to your house next time you do laundry and take a shit in your washing machine. Do you really think that's going to get it clean. Shit needs to be disposed of, not washed. As far as the washing your ass thing goes, I am a vigorous ass washer (for obvious reasons). That's the cleanest part of my body from the time I shower to the time I shit.

Yeti said:

i would have to agree.. shit and puik.. once it's touched clothes... trash... mostly b/c i dont have the stomach to actually pick it up and put it in the washer to begin with.

puking is different, i've done that many times. shit is an entirely different world.

Yeti said:
The last time it happened was when I was a teenager and I just ripped a fart and ended up painting my undies brown. I remember jumping out my bedroom window and running into the woods and throwing the evidence into a bush.

I still think its worms.

starmummy said:

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:

I'm going to have to fight you over this, I hope you know.

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:


Bring it on bitch!

starmummy said:

Come to think of it, I think it was old cheese that did it. I had some salsa con queso in my shed from a week ago. I figured it was cold enough and I wouldn’t have to refrigerate it. I mixed in some Smoked Chipotle Tabasco sauce and had some Tostitos and about 30 minutes later…

I'm not sure why I had the shits Friday and Saturday nights though. Maybe it is worms.

That was fucking br00tal...

And I'm just about to have a bite to eat.