Fuck off, jaded old deathmetal longhair assholes! It's not these guys' faults they were born after 1990 when all your precious Autopsy and Incantation records came out. These dudes are young and talented and playing an exciting new form of heavy music that your tired old ears can't understand or appreciate. Breakdowns are just midpaced Slayer riffs slowed down so the kids can mosh and you know - let their aggressions out. And so what if they'd rather wear some comfortably fitting jeans, sharp fitted New Eras and some sick custom dunks instead of your silly metal uniform with the bootleg Harley boots, shitty Wranglers and the denim vest covered in Yosuke's diehard fagpatches - hey... get with the times. Beside... these guys are young, hot and talented (even more than Grant - and he's got it goin on). I'd be happy to help you out with a show in CT. Might not be able to get you much gas money but I have a little Greek boy who will suck your cocks while I eat Thin Mints and jack off in the corner. Let me know if you're into it.
