Corbin Bernsen Hates Potato Salad, August 21, 2008

Dangerous Intentions is a movie about a man who hates potato salad. On a seemingly calm day, his wife attempts to slip some potato salad by him on the dinner table, in the hopes that he will either not notice, or simply realize that the potato salad isn't for him. This does not go over well at all. Upon seeing the potato salad, he proceeds to beat her within an inch of her life, breaking almost every window in the kitchen during the process. He leaves her there, crying in a pool of her own blood, in a totally devastated kitchen that she knows will be her mess to clean.

In the second act of the movie, we see that his wife has since relocated, and is living with her parents. She tells them of the years of physical and mental abuse she has had to endure, which Corbin Bernsen tries to defuse with the counter-accusation that she had thrown a bowl of potato salad at him. An accusation that is not only untrue, but a very flimsy excuse for turning your wife's face into a mashed-in side of beef, if you ask me. But, then again, I'm not a potato-salad-hating Corbin Bernsen with dangerous intentions.

The rest of the movie is completely unwatchable, aside from a few scenes where Corbin Bernsen is featured, and a hilariously executed scene where the wife's new friend, a fellow punching bag, played by Robin Givens, gets stabbed by her ex-boyfriend in front of about ten witnesses that do nothing but try to remember where they know Robin Givens from. The director's attempts to make you somehow relate to and/or empathize with the wife in this movie are entirely overshadowed by the fact that the first ten minutes of footage was Corbin Bernsen tossing pots and pans around, screaming, "I HATE POTATO SALAD." But if you ever happen to see this movie just starting, which will most likely take place on a Sunday afternoon on the Lifetime Movie Network, definitely try to catch the first act. It's amazing to see how much one man can dislike potato salad.

his name is dan?

i want to read more reviews like this one.

I thought Beakey was crouching in a cave somewhere.

apparently that cave has internet access

but not rttp access.

Nope. Hes just in Wolloston.

Close enough.

HAH i can see me in the background taking a picture

i miss Beakey!

and everyone misses you going to show.

that was a fun show. Met Cafe 2003