I'm curious to know what everyone thinks the worst NES games ever made might be. Off the top of my head here are my picks.

5. Magic Johnson's Fast Break (purple circle for a basketball)
4. Bart vs. the Space Mutants (absolutely impossible)
3. Back to the Future (either version was 100% impossible)
2. Whatever that Roger Clemens baseball game was called (corny word plays and parodies of baseball players names because they didn't want to pay for the real ones... and miserably confusing controls)
1. not like anyone here ever played it but... Yo Noid

there was a discussion at my house recently about this, and i believe it was decided that Back to the Future and Willow were 100% impossible. Marble Madness is also insanely difficult.

This is all you need to watch:

http://cinemassacre.com/Movies/Nes_Nerd.html

I am pretty sure I beat Willow once.




of course, I used issues of Nintendo Power to do so, but whatever...

Hydlide: It's like Ultima with an extra chromosome.
Legend of Kage: While an amazingly good jumping-really-high simulator, this was an unforgivably bad game.
Whatever the game that came with the Power Pad was. F that noise.

I ruled at Bart vs. the Space Mutants, I don't know what your problem is. I loved that game. Same with Willow; it was tough as hell, but totally doable.

i've played Yo noid, it was about that homo-alien thing that was some pizza places' mascot. Terrible game, but i think i can think of worse.

Yes, I can. Play the Spot game, that gay ass mascot of 7up. I will think of more later.

The Spot game for Genesis ruled pretty hard; high praise, considering how much I hate that system. SNES for life, yo!

I actually remember the Spot game, and I didn't hate it so much. I remember a bunch of my friends and I slept over this kids house, and we all brought a shit ton of Nintendo games. This one kid only brought Yo Noid, and we never let him live it down.

Fester's Crappy Quest anyone?

FAAARRRRRRGHGHEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I just bit down so hard that all my teeth broke out when you mentioned THAT DAMN GAME.

I JUST WANT TO KILL THE MONSTER IN THE HOUSE, WHY MUST YOU REFUSE TO COOPERATE, YOU BALD LITTLE FREAK?

I remember thinking that game looked so awesome in the commercial, so I went out and rented it. I had no idea what was going on, the graphics were horrendous, the enemies were boring, the weapons sucked. I honestly think more effort went into making that commercial than the actual game itself.

I keep on almost thinking of these unspeakably terrible games I used to play, but then I lose the thread. I think my brain is shutting down to protect itself, like a bad memory surge protector.

Friday the 13th: Is probably used by Al Qaeda to torture hostages.
The Goonies: Ugh.
That Macross shooter game where you transform between three different forms, all of which suck, and none of which are Gradius.

The Ghostbusters game was one I could never figure out.
Deadly Towers was one I always had a hard time with; if I tired real hard I could get to the dungeon but I'd always get killed trying to make it up the first tower.

Top Gun

Ryan_M said:

That was another one that my brain was trying to protect me from; it was just on the tip of my tongue. Electroshock, here I come!

Kinslayer said:

I JUST WANT TO LAND. WHY WON'T IT LET ME LAND?!?!?!??!!11!!!!ONEONE

please. there's many worse games than those ones listed. Roger Clemens MVP baseball was an awesome game for NES and Sega! It wasn't the best but it was playable.

Goonies was non-intriguing but playable as well.
Bart Vs. the Space Mutants = really fun game. (all Simpsons games are awesome!)
I don't understand why people thought Willow is impossible?
Bad Dudes = horrible. Fun game but I still, do this day, can't get over the fact that "Ninjas kidnapped the president!!! Are you a bad enough dude to rescue him?"
If you want to play a hard game, check out T&C Surf Design - it's kind of hard.
One of the most underrated games for NES was "Skyshark".. it was overshadowed by the 1942 games. Music RULES in skyshark too.

Also, why's everyone gotta be hating on Genesis so much? Anything Sega put out pre-Saturn was just as good, if not better than anything Nintendo put out! Golden Axe? Altered Beast? Crusader of Centy? Vectorman? C'mon people..

DestroyYouAlot said:

Yeah I wouldn't say Deadly Towers was one of the worst games, because it was pretty cool, it was just hard as hell!
Haha, I remember my dad was alright at it though, he used to play it a lot when I was really little and he got really into it; he'd draw out maps of the levels on grid paper and make notes and shit....kinda geeky, but probably not a bad idea!

Mike Tyson's Punch Out was another one I would go mad playing. Bald Bull was a motherfucker to knock out, and if I was lucky enough to beat him, Soda Popinski would always kick my ass!

The Ninja Turtle game was fun for me, but I could never figure out how to get past the third level where you get to drive the Turtle Van.

T&C... Oh, man. I spent SO MANY HOURS getting good at that game, even the surf part, which was like balancing a plate full of hamsters on a broomstick. So not worth it.

And Bad Dudes. I may not have been a bad enough dude, but I sure spent enough hours trying.

Oh, shit. WEREWOLF. I don't honestly know if this game rules or sucks; on the one hand, I'm not sure how a game where you play a caveman-turned-werewolf with giant claws in place of hands that for some reason shoot bullets in a post-apocalyptic world can possibly be bad, but MAN was that control scheme tortuous. And if the awkward jumps and electrified crap didn't kill you before you got to a boss, you'd just kind of randomly die for no good reason, 9 times out of 10. Sheesh.

I saw this and was going to mention Friday the 13th and The Goonies, but saw they already were. Those were bad fucking games. So my vote goes for:

IronSword - Wizards and Warriors II

there are a whole lot of bad nintendo games... im surprised so many got made u'd think it would have been process and a half to get that pressed/printed or whatever.

Ryan_M said:

That was how it was - you had to map out some of those old games, or you'd never get anywhere. Ever try to get more than a level into Wizardry without graph paper? Good luck. Bard's Quest? Shyeah, right. Old school, yo. For rizzy.

shamash said:

I will fight you. No Wizards and Warriors was anything short of epic win; large amounts at that. KUROS IS FABIO WITH A SWORD. EXCEPT HE'S WEARING ARMOR. AND HE JUMPS. YOU CANNOT DISPUTE THIS.

IronSword - Wizards and Warriors II

that was friggin terrible... it was as bad as the legend of zelda II

goonies II was pretty decent.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I'M NOT LISTENING LALALALALALALALALALAL

another bad game = Bible Buffet
OR
(can't remember the names)
But every once in a while Restaurant chains or store chains would release NES games where you'd get a code once you beat the game and you'd have to mail it in to see if you were the winner. "MAIL BY DECEMBER 31st 1990"
I can't remember the name of this one game but it was soo bad and it was some kid with a skateboard jumping around on some alien planet.

Hard game with skateboards = paperboy.

http://www.everyvideogame.com/

ps: you can play them all there.

Wait, you didn't like Zelda II? I always dug that one. Once you found the super secret master that taught you how to point your sword down (undoubtedly the most elusive and difficult of tricks), it was Super Master Sword Pogo Stick Fun Time. (Yes, I know there wasn't a Master Sword until Zelda III. Shut up.)

Almost every part of Skate or Die (the first one) was unacceptably difficult. HAI GUYS, LET'S COME UP WITH A DIFFERENT CONTROL SCHEME FOR EVERY PART OF THE GAME, AND THEY ALL SUCK. AND WHEN YOU TRY TO WHACK A GUY IN THE POOL JOUST, YOUR WHACKING STICK JUST FLASHES, AND YOU FALL OFF THE SKATEBOARD. GREAT.

Skate or Die II was pretty sweet, though.

best game ever for any system =
Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening for Gameboy. The original. Best Zelda. Best game. Best music, best story, best woman, best dungeons.

i am proud to say that i not only owned, but also never cared to beat Yo! Noid. even as a child i knew in the back of my head that each passing second playing that steaming pile would shave years off my life.

also, these jems:

Bible Buffet - basically, it was candyland - but with random pop quizzes about bible stuff, to keep in the christian tradition of making everything unfun.






Wally Bear & the NO! Gang - in the totally 90s fashion, an EXTREME anthropomorphic creature puts his gift of becoming sentient to good use by telling kids to stay off drugs and getting attacked by birds every time he goes skateboarding.






maybe the fact that wally's friends want to do drugs stems from the fact that wally's dad walks around all day with no fucking pants

All three of the Wizards & Warriors games destroy insanely. Willow is definitely beatable, I'm pretty sure I've done it.

Hydlide would be my vote for worst.

wow, the java on that everygames site killed my computer.

I_am_not_me said:

It really was god-awful.

The X-Men game was just execrable. Pure horrendousosity.

Wolverine wasn't far behind.

Am I the only person that likes Yo! Noid?

DestroyYouAlot said:

was that Spot Goes to Hollywood? i think i still remember the cheat code. c a b c b a c a b c b a c.

Errr, possibly? Actually, no, I think it was "Cool Spot."

Edit: Yup.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cool_Spot

I_am_not_me said:

DestroyYouAlot said:

yeah "Cool Spot" is the game i am thinking of. i looked up the Hollywood one and that wasn't it.

ADVENTURE ISLAND. EVERY FUCKING ONE OF THEM. FUCK.

I mean, the ones with the dinosaurs were only slightly less sub-par, but they still fucking suck. What kind of game has your health getting reduced by stubbing your toe on a rock as the main enemy?

anyone remember "Defender of the Crown" ?

NEW NEXT-GEN ADVENTURE ISLAND 3-D: ACTION TACTICAL TOE STUBBING SIMULATOR

you're going to hate me folks, but every megaman after number III is cheesy and dumb.
and yes, that includes the X ones. the music is good though.

aril said:

FUKKEN SAVED

haha.
Defender of the Crown was so bad that it was so good. I mean, the sword fights were just HORRIBLE. but the concept was cool. I also use to play that on DOS back in the early 90s. was better for the computer.

That was back when the Amiga ruled way harder than the PC for games. I remember wanting an Amiga so bad: "Music? 256 colors? SIGN ME UP!!!"

BIMMY AND JIMMY?

Kinslayer said:

"Bimmy's not even a real name!"

It always kills me when people say Puchout was hard. It took some dedication, but at this point in my life I can sleep through everything up to Tyson. Tyson himself, however, is another story.

Ghostbusters was another pissfest. All I remember is some crappy stage on the rooftop that was divided into all this weird shit including a map of the marshmellow man climbing the building. So dumb.

i just found out about this angry video nerd guy. fucking hilarious. the TMNT was the best.

FuckIsMySignature said:

Check out "Furious Famicom Faggot" on Something Awful. Lulz a-plenty.

Kinslayer said:

HYPER UPPERCUT!!!

that ghostbusters game was weird. I had no idea what was going on half of the time but when something happened, it was awesome. I just remember getting to the end once. didn't play it too much.
Zuul was somewhat tough.

FuckIsMySignature said:

Yeah I saw that a while ago. The original TMNT (before the incredibly fun arcade ones) was an absolute nightmare. The electric seaweed (first of all wtf?!) stage where you had to disarm the bombs, and the controls were way too hard, and in some places you had basically centimeters worth of space to move in.... ruined my life. I thought it was pretty cool (at the time) that you could use all 4 turtles, but you had to die with one to get to another one (I think). Donatello was the only useful one because his staff was long enough to actually give you an advantage over anything. All the villains sucked.

And to give an Amen to Angry Nintendo Nerd... WHY DOES THE TURTLE VAN (the only thing in the game that gives you any significant advantage) HAVE THE SAME HEALTH AS THE TURTLE ITSELF?

Video Link

And as far as Roger Clemens MVP baseball goes why is there a game with the name of a professional baseball player attatched to it that didn't even have real professional baseball teams or players? John Elway Quarterback had real teams. Joe Montana sports talk football had real players. The much superior but not endorsed RBI Baseball series had real players.

If I wanted made up shit I'd pick up Bases Loaded, Baseball stars, Little League World Series (sooo fun), or Base Wars (awesome but someone overrated).

xmikex said:

That shit was nightmarish. That and the stage where you ran around the base looking for the Technodrome, but all you ever found was crazy hallucination monsters that killed the shit put of you. And warehouses full of unnecessary ladders; ladders next to ladders, stacked on top of ladders, themselves next to other ladders which you climbed to reach MORE FUCKING LADDERS AND LADDERS AND LADDERS AND WHERE ARE MY PILLS?!?

hahaha the electric seaweed bomb part is insanely hard. Friday the 13th was also impossible.

Baseball Stars was so awesome.

Worst? I hated, HATED Guerrilla War. Ugh.

The Angry Videogame Nerd has a video about almost every shitty game here and they are all on point and hilarious.

The Power Glove one is laughs as well.

Xenophobia on the NES was shitty, too. The arcade vesion was tits. same with TMNT and Guantlet.

Ghosts n' Goblins was a pain in the fucking ass.

Yeti said:

Blech. What was it with Nintendo games replacing "gameplay" with "really really ridiculously impossibly hard, better get the Game Genie"? No other system did this.

AIRWOLF. God that game was shitty.

the first ghostbusters game for the NES was mind-numbing. i probably lost the instruction book the first day of owning it, never got anywhere.

C.DEAD said:

how dare you, sir

either Friday the 13th or Jaws. Or spy vs. spy.

cobra triangle

RUSSIAN ATTACK! actually fuck it...that shit was tight!

Nightmare on Elm Street

RYAN SANGBERG'S MVP baseball worst game ever

wow... how the hell did Fuck_Logging_In_NLI get a myspace video to work...
I'm wicked impressed cause I didn't know that I even got that to work.

Ryne Sandberg.

not Ryan Sangberg.

Jesus fuck, Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle. That game was friggin' impossible.