It was terrible. I was about 10 seconds too late. Me and my best friend just sat around watching tv afterwards and I kept smoking cigarettes. What can you do when it's just too late. Well I'll tell you....Never bring it up again.
The other time I was freshly stoned and thought I had the apt. to myself when low and behold my roommate comes in through my back bedroom door. It's bad enough getting caught....It's worse when your freshly stoned

15 years old. My room's upstairs, and has no door. Had a whole spread of mediocre porn on the bed, working one out. Mom thinks she's gonna be a secret agent and come up the stairs all quiet-like. Congratulations, mom, you successfully saw my penis. Good job.

from my mom, no. Thank you house from the 1700's with creeky floors.
a friend busted in once, but I was under covers and play it all cool like I wasn't.

One time I was really down on my luck, and hard up for money. I was jerking off in front of a dude for money in the cab of his pickup truck when all of a sudden a bunch of redneck guys come out of nowhere and beat the crap out of me. It was that night that I hit rock bottom, and knew I had to pull myself together. I cleaned up my act and eventually re-emerged as one of the premier players of the 1970's porn scene.

Yeah I had no door either. The weird part about jerkin off as a kid is at first you have no idea what the fuck you're doing. I also had this great idea the fuck an empty 3 liter bottle of soda. It never happened. I was aslo open to fuck any possible holes anywhere I could find. When I actually blew my load only a little drizzle oozed out and I thought I had done something wrong and that I was dying

hoss said:

SEE A DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY

hoss said:

haha i love this thread

http://www.hipforums.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-126715.html

archaeon said:

I used the vacuum cleaner a couple of times when I was a kid. Let me tell you how great THAT smells once it sits in the bag for a while.

never been caught.

the_reverend said:



Glad to see they have their priorities straight. In the bloody cum thread.

Being caught sucks more than getting caught stealing or lying when by your parents when you're young

i use to use shampoo in the shower when i first started, one time i didn't wash it off all the way, i couldn't walk for a week cus my balls were like peeling skin. it sucked major ass.

archaeon said:

Orange and pumice hand cleaner works well, I hear.

I've tried it all

i thankfully have never been caught. i was paranoid of being caught by my parents when i was younger, so i mastered the art of stealth masturbation.

Hey Richard, who was your favorite Little Rascal? It it Alfalfa, or Spanky?

hahahah this thread is awesome.

pam nli said:

Gettin' caught stories or GTFO.

ive never been caught, thank my loud stairs, but this one time i was sitting on my bed doing it and a friend of mine walks in and sits RIGHT next to me....luckily i was wearing an XL shirt when i should have been wearing a medium...i got outta there a-ok

In sixth grade while I was sleeping over a former friend's house the kid started jerking off after he thought I had fallen asleep. After the longest ten seconds of my life the kid finished, fell asleep, and I grabbed my backpack and ran the half-mile back to my house. Then I told everyone at school about what happened and we are sworn enemies to this day.

BobNOMAAMRooney nli said:

I will NEVER forgive you for that. Damn you, BobNOMAAMRooney! Damn you to HELL!!!

Choke it and be aware of your surroundings. I have never been caught (that I am aware of.) LOL.

Having a room in the basement and a lock on my door in the house my family lived in until I was 14 insured that I could jack it CONSTANTLY when I first learned of my wang wrangling prowess.

BobNOMAAMRooney nli said:

sinner.

DestroyYouAlot said:

Never been caught!

I was maybe 12 and taking my time getting out of bed before school and thought the only way I'm starting off my day is with a jerk. Yeah, great idea. So my mom keeps yelling for me to get up. touche. so, doin my thing and she bursts in and says GET UP! and with the shock of her coming in and me about to bust a nut I yelled back I AM UP! She said "I see that", she walked out and it was never discussed. I couldn't wait to just get the hell out of the house and go to school. good times!

yummy said:

In my head, this story played out very differently.

one time my friends walked in my apartment without knocking. when i used to have long periods of time alone in my apartment i'd make it count, slowly wack it for a few then slow down, cruise the net, then do a little more until about an hour in and i'd explode. well, they walked in during downtime, but i had one hand on my weiner, they said "hey..." not sure about what i was doing i guess and i had no response but "im totally beating it." they went and sat in my living room, i pulled up my shorts and faced the walk of shame. looking back on it, i would have finished before i went out there. if you're gonna get busted, you might as well get the enjoyment of finishing to help wash it down.

a kid i know had his brother walk in on him, the kid who walked in said "ummm, what are you doing?" and his brother replied "not masturbating." haha that's my favorite story.