I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.
"WOW!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge.
"Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days."
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying she thought tubby bald men were cute.
"Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"
So I hung up on the fat bitch.

HAHAHAH! That's awesome.

No love for the heavy hotties?

only a joke, I put mine in a ghetto booty every night

im sure she didn't put on alot of weight she may have just been refering to the extra pounds gained by the holidays

dude, it's LITERALLY a joke, this didnt really happen, I read it somewhere

JDDomination said:

obviously you forgot RTTP rule #1...nobody's gonna read every word of your post, so you can almost guarantee it will be replied to and misconstrued because nobody read it throughly

allow me to rephrase, it's internet rule #1, not RTTP rule #1

ok, let me rephrase again...it's human rule #1, not internet rule #1

true, I dont want anyone to think Im really that much of a douche though

Still made me laugh.

JDDomination said:

Fuuuuuuck that.
Douche on!

seriously keep this one quiet, it's bad:
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: World Trade Center Workers; they go through a hundred stories in a few seconds.

Knock Knock
(Who's there)
9/11
(9/11 who?)
I thought you said you'd never forget.

LOLzZ !1!