Where would american society be without good old fashoioned toilet paper? Everyone takes it for granted by using too much, which can be known as spoiling your asshole with double ply.

It is ok to leave a few dingleberries, more toilet paper will only worsen the problem thus leaving you with a shitlocks hairdoo dangling from your butthole.

for some reason, my cat peed on about 5-6 rolls of really nice tp.
damn fat cat!

live in a dorm for 4 years... you will truly appreciate buying your own TP afterwards

the tp at my work is ok.
the tp as school SUCKS!

i hate the tp that is like printing paper.

where are the quilts motherfucker.

tom uses Bawny cause he's got soup down there.

Hey I poop too!!!!!

I enjoy great quilting, but the good ole' Charmin lines will do it just fine!!
I aslo enjoy pooping, it's the cleansing push that really does it for me!! In fact, I laid a bowl full o' slinky's this AM. It looked delicious and nutritious. I couldn't waste it on a raggity piece of paper.
A real dream poo it was....made for the admiration of all things poo.
keep your dreams alive guys!!

at my house, they buy that sandpaper wannabe toilet paper.


fuckin spend the extra 30 cents for some 2 ply you cheap bastards.

i do not like the "Scott" brand...and weird thing..it's not cheap, it's like 99 cents for 1 roll...and it sucks (IMHO)

it was the replacement for the cat peeing on the good kind

my cat likes to poop in my bathtub.

My cat slashes at my wrists...wait, no that is the knife I got out of the kitchen when I found out ICP is actually still in existence.

Toilet paper is cool. I typically fold the paper into squares after each wipe, to allow an easy flush and flow. The hell are those things called that the French use, the ass cleaner/cleanser that shoots water up thus washing away all the shit? Those things can be funny.

ummm you don't use a bidet to wipe...


mainly used to wash your feet

but yes you can wash your privates... but you don't use it instead of wiping

after a long night of drinking my friend approached us with this analogy...


if you shit on your leg (or someone else did) would you just wipe it with some paper and leave it at that... or would u get some water and wipe it off.... most people would wipe it with some water (hopefully soap) so why would you just wipe your ass with paper when u shit?"

i normally think about that while im on the potty... that or my friend Ivan

Does anyone else wait until the very last second to let the shit "FIRE" out of their ass?
Typical Hoser shitting scenario:

Hoser is hanging around the house, discovers through brief anal pressure that he must shit immediately.
1.) On a dead run for the Bowl.
2.) Quickly wipes seat with good quality TP. (Keep in mind that he's in a dead rush at this point.)
3.) Yanks pants to ankles, sits in a fury.
4.) Realizes that there is no good reading material around.
5.) Searches behind bowl frantically.
6.) Discovers "Hustler" magazine on sink counter-top.
7.) Does insane "naked" shuffle with pants still around ankles over to sink counter.
8.) Reaches and grabs "Hustler" magazine.
9.) Frantically hustles (in naked shuffle style) back to toilet.
10.) Crazily flips to page in magazine.
11.) Realizes that he has seen this page before!!!!
12.) Rapidly begins flipping to a page that he has not yet seen, while holding back massive anal explosion.
13.) Finds page that he may or may not have seen, chooses to not think about it!!
14.) Anal explosion occurs with unprecidented back pressure, splattering ass cheeks and surrounding anal areas with water and/or piss. Penis has not yet been pushed into bowl. uncontrollable piss pressure sends penis on a splashing rampage, squirting front of toilet seat, and rebounding all over self.
15.) At this point you have a complete mess in and around the bowl. You are so insane during the process that you spend more time cleaning up piss from yourself and the bowl as a direct result of pee-pee's wild ride.
16.) You never really got to read anything, you angrily wipe your ass only to find that you have used all of the remaining toilet paper for cleaning up the mess you've made during your penises' splash fest.
17.) You leave satisfied yet harrowed over this experience. You knew that you shouldn't have waited that long to take a simple dump, and therefore promise yourself that it will be different next time.

All of this just to take a dump. Have any of you gone through this or am I just a fuckin' weirdo???
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...........

i live and eat at college.

I eat as much as i can in 10 minutes, knowing full well what is coming.

T-minus 5 minutes to get to the toilet

orange spatterblast soup in 2 minutes, almost there, quickening to a jog.

T minus 1 minute... climbing the stairs ( the final task)
30 seconds, I'm on the john, shooting fragrant magma from my asshole.

Its like clockwork, every single day. college food sucks balls.

BUMP

Bump is right bitches!!