MURRUM - Upper echelon elite of the practice space / pizza party scene. Had their black metal gang voided by the internet. Still going strong.

GRAVESIDE SERVICE - Blackened kvlt tag team partners with SCOTT CONNOR. Have successfully cultivated museum quality collections of their own merch.

VATNETT VISKAR - Made fun of by RTTP. Signed a Tom Cruise caliber deal with Century Media. Rubbed it in RTTP's face. Hired Kim Kelly as undercover PR agent to write fake reviews for them. Shortly after found out why no one relevant has signed with CM in 15 years. Successfully condemned to Deafheaven afterthought status forever.

INVERTICRUX Successful multi-disciplinary artist Raymond Stevens lead band who swore they didn't need RTTP's approval to make wave. Succeeded fully by making national headlines for lamest hate crime ever. Awaiting status as Varg-esque political outlaw / prison sponge.

NOCUOUS - Weeknight show warriors so successful they can spend hours complaining about how no one comes to their 3 local shows a week.

SHROUD OF BEREAVEMENT - Back from the dead... again. Exact same fanbase dead as hypothetically back together.

ARDUOUS TASK After a slew of free publicity from RTTP PC faggets are now a mere 1,336 Facebook likes away from 1,488 Facebook likes.

VACANT EYES Sans-ego funeral doom as seen on headliner-less local band fests

DUMPSTER FIRE Hit parader Dillinger Escape Plan ripoff that can literally get on ANY Metal Thursday it wants

PARADOXICAL SPIRAL Deep space guitar genius so successful that they don't even need to release music

SAINT TO SINNER International Pawtucket metal sensation currently awaiting Grammy vote re-count. So successful Bova completely transcended the need to do situps.

Can Sonic Pulse get on this?

Why you do the stupid shit?

Shut up, Carmine.

I lol'd.

now that's funny.

Anderson Lynne Mar is a faggot.

Eagerly awaiting seeing all these failures at the 2014 Edition of the New England Punk Metal Goth POGs and Failure Fest at Lelacheur Park in Lowell, MA

The Taste of Silver was fah fags dood.

Aww did we hurt your feelings pointing out what hard ons that you guys have for my mexican cock

PAPA NO!!!!! You must make money and pay your child support!!!!! Playing video games all day will not feed the village donkey and chickens! No bueno!!!!!

I wouldn't have bothered resisting the conquistadors if I'd have known this was how it was gonna end up.

Cuauhtémoc smdh

Ezekiel 25:17."The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

Are you saying then that Nocuous does not play poorly attended local shows constantly with the same bands with the same results and use Facebook to gripe about spinning your wheels?

Hmmm?

Nocuos speaks for itself people come to our shows bro you mad? Its ok you guys can confess your gay love for me I dont judge.

Papa why u want make love to hombre? You no want to make more bastard
bebe.

And dude bro guy whats with this department of crap just use your real name. Oh right trolls are not brave people. Besides, I think baby volpi has a huge crush on papa volpi

No my baby volpi no more kiddo for papa volpi . Im sorry i wont be able to give you brothers and sisters

Oh and by the way, I forgot to point out that i am indeed Mexican

Papa NO!!!!

You're under oath Señor Volpi. Answer the question.

Deadbeat dad in deadend band.

JANSEN MCCORMICK IS A BIG FAT BITCH!!!!

I love it how none of ya will say it to my face but you will troll it. How about this when you stop playing dnd get in real band and attend shpws then we'll talk until then good sirs ill continue slaying it on stage while you sit in your parents basements ;-)

Papa no !!!!! Get job to support village!!!!!!

GLAD TO SEE I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS SO. Hope that fat flat brim hat wearing fucking fagget's weight catches up to him soon. Where's a good stroke when you need one?

Just answer the question. Are any of the claims presented here about Nocuous INACCURATE? Yes or no?

I remind you that you're under oath.

Under oath nocuous plays gigs of all sorts with many different outcomes just like every other bqnd sleep well my loving trolls dont let the bed bugs bite.

Ps thanks for the concern about the shows we play, imagine you left the dnd table to go to shows and support local music, but i understand how addicted to living in a fantasy world of things you'll never be able to do is appealing.

LOLFAG

I AM THE KING OF RTTP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things we'll never be able to do? Oh you mean take subpar pictures of meaningless things then spew it off like you're a professional photographer and out time and money and effort into it and nobody appreciates your hard work and dedication? Shutup_fagget

Our apologies. How did we ever forget about Volpi's booming photography business? This is truly a black mark on our department.

Need moar pics for evidence

All I have to say is that Raynard's public insistence that his band still has a future and that he's NOT going to jail for the "lamest hate crime ever" is absolutely mesmerizing. Any doubts that he's been living in another reality should now be erased.

www.facebook.com/skewedviews

This retard still has a band?

Well after his arrest AND attempted suicide Raynard was still popping up all over Facebook pushing Inverticrux like nothing had happened. Kevin said he even contacted the Codex Obscurum page to try and get us to feature him as an artist.

I thought he wanted to do that before his was caught with a sharpe

I, for one, would welcome a Codex Sharpie cover.

He did. Andrew told him no thanks and he wrote back with something snarky and insulting about the zine being trendy and he didn't want to do it anyways. Then after the sharpie incident he wrote to Kevin... Again, like nothing had happened.

Raynard finally gets all the free time in the world he always longed for to goto local shows and work on his art and music.
BUT ITS BECAUSE HE SOLD HIS BUSINESS AND WENT TO PRISON.

MUCH PLOT TWIST
SO COSMIC IRONY
AMAZE

He actually contacted me a couple of times even after the sharpie arrest.

Raynard "Doge" Stevens

I still am amused that he shot himself in the head "at least once" trying to attempt suicide, and missed. How the hell does that happen? I mean, can he do anything right?
Raymissed
What a life.

Raynard's upcoming project. Support.


bennyhillifier

Did he contact you after he shot himself?

If so, were there any hilarious indications of (further) brain damage?

He was telling me how great Inverticrux is. That takes a lot of brain damage.

Crippling tone deafness + moderate retardation + partially vented skull = Inverticrux.

I don't live in my mom's house, and her house doesn't even have a basement. It has a crawlspace. A crawlspace
I'd rather live there than be a deadbeat dad that bounces on my kids child support.

Besides, the last I heard you were the one living with your parents el señor Burzumo

I WILL ANAL FUCK THUNDERCRUST.

REPEAT: ANAL FUCK

DIMONIC REQUIUM SAID FUCK YOUS!

This is the funniest/meanest thread ever.

success is in the eyes of the beerholder