One time he watched The Smurfs with a grapefruit on his head

I heard he drove all the way to Kansas to give a dude a handjob.

There are three walnuts inside his left butthole.

His mom refused to sign a permission slip for him to visit the Hood factory in sixth grade because he jerked off into his mashed potatoes.

He bought socks.

This is truly a landmark moment in my life.

what kinda socks are we talking about here?