3/2/02
<br>
<br>A room full of bad attitudes. Overpriced beer. Pushy bouncers. A turd on the
<br>bathroom floor.
<br>
<br>I must be in Worcester Mass.
<br>
<br>Yes, that's how you can identify the lovely cities of Massachusetts. For
<br>example, if the urinals appear to be full of orange juice, you're probably in
<br>Haverhill. As for the Manray club....oh man let's not even think of that one.
<br>
<br>Anyway...
<br>
<br>I was at the Crapadium to see the almighty GWAR. This is one of the best
<br>bands on Earth, period. I had seen them once, around 1994 in Boston, with the
<br>Dickies. This time around though, they somehow got thrown out to Worcester,
<br>which is like a fate worse than death. But no matter, they put on a great
<br>show.
<br>
<br>Opening up were um....Ah who cares? God Forbid is ok. Goat Whore were quite
<br>good actually-very 80's thrash influenced. I hear they're some relation to
<br>the now-defunct band Acid Bath, but I have no familiarity with them.
<br>
<br>Gwar always brings out their fair share of enthusiastic fans. This was best
<br>summed up by an older man with a positively ancient GWAR shirt who yelled
<br>'YEAAAA! GWAAAARRRRR!! ROCCCCKKK MANNN!!! GWARRRR!!' This man then zipped his
<br>fly, flushed the urinal, and returned to the part of the club where the show
<br>was being held.
<br>
<br>On that note, I should point out that the Palladium has an asenine no-smoking
<br>policy which is broken by...well simply going into the bathroom. All the
<br>security does now is yell at people. In fact, last night, I actually heard
<br>some of the bouncers telling people 'look just go into the bathroom if you're
<br>gonna smoke.' Great, just like school.
<br>
<br>So as a result, there's always a crowd of semi-inebriated people in there,
<br>having what amounts to a 'Heavy metal roundtable' discussion. The combined
<br>knowledge of the Worcester Palladium men's room would put most 'respectable'
<br>metal magazines and web sites out of business. I read once about a
<br>documentary film called 'Heavy Metal Parking Lot', where the subject was
<br>interviewing various people at a Judas Priest concert around 1986. Whoever
<br>put that thing together needs to make the sequal here. Just watch out for
<br>that turd. It may be slithering across the tiles on its own, thanks to the
<br>mysterious clear puddles that cover the floor by the end of every show.
<br>
<br>So GWAR finally comes on around 11. They seem to have stripped down to just
<br>the 5 basic members, with a few nameless 'Slave pit' members to assist
<br>bringing out various monsters and props. No Slymenstra Hymen, Sexecutioner,
<br>Sleazy P Martini or Techno Destructo. This was Gwar 2002, stripped to its
<br>bear bones. Well hell, with them putting their real names inside the cd's now
<br>and their singer Dave Brockie putting out solo work, I suppose there's no
<br>point in keeping the illusion up.
<br>
<br>The set list seemed to cull heavily from their 'Scumdogs of the Universe'
<br>album, which is everyone's favorite for some reason. As for me, I liked 'This
<br>Toilet Earth' best but they didn't even play anything from that. Or from
<br>'Hell-o!', the first album. I wanted to hear the 'GWAR Theme' and sing along
<br>but I suppose maybe next time. They did play a lot of stuff from their newest
<br>cd, 'Violence has Arrived', but I haven't gotten around to hearing that one
<br>much yet.
<br>
<br>Ok, that takes care of the music-yes I do care about the music. As for the
<br>visual presentation....
<br>
<br>GWAR always puts on a hell of a show, featuring giant phoam rubber monsters
<br>and a lot of fake blood, urine and other various bodily fluids being sprayed
<br>over the crowd. I mean, this is worse than Gallagher-a lot of the Palladium
<br>was covered in plastic. I didn't get squirted this time, unlike the 94 show
<br>where I came home covered in red and green spooge. Being in Worcester gets
<br>you grimey enough though, I suppose.
<br>
<br>The show featured a number of 'guests', such as Osama Bin Ladin, who was
<br>decapitated. President Bush then came out, and talked about his war to 'Rid
<br>the world of minorities er um I mean evildoers.' He met a similar fate, as
<br>did Mike Tyson, whose gloves were hacked off with an axe, resulting in
<br>another stream of fake blood. A newer character was introduced too; Bloody
<br>Mary. Mary's phoam rubber breasts shoot blood, and her phoam rubber crotch
<br>shotts um...actually I'm not sure what that was. It looked green, but that
<br>may have just been the stage lighting. Then came the biggie-Pope John Paul
<br>the Whatever was brought out in honor of being so close to the Boston
<br>Catholic community. The Pope was cut in half, his intestines laid bare before
<br>us all. And then, we got the REAL surprise; the return of GOR GOR. Yes, the
<br>crack-addled dinosaur, who made an appearance in time to eat the Pope's
<br>entrails and lovingly drool blood and guts over the delighted audience
<br>members. GOR GOR then turned on the band, however, and had to be brought down
<br>with a sword through his massive head. It was sad to see GOR GOR go, but I
<br>suppose it had to be done. (Actually, I've heard a rumor that GOR GOR is
<br>actually Mr Snuffalupagus without his furry disguise. That is the meaning of
<br>the 4 digit number at the beginning of each Sesame Street episode; the number
<br>of children fed to GOR GOR/Snuffy.
<br>
<br>All in all, I was most impressed, as always. I think I'm one of the few
<br>people who actually appreciates GWAR's hunor without taking it at face
<br>value-a close examination of some of their lyrics reveals that they're far
<br>from a stupid band. In fact, they're somewhat political at times. Further
<br>proof of this can be found with their singer's solo album; Dave Brockie
<br>Experience's 'Diarrhea of a Mad Man', with a Dead Kennedys-esque logo. That
<br>band has toured recently too-I'm gonna look into it next time. Just watch out
<br>for that turd.
<br>
<br> Dev
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