please?

do you really want me to post a pic of my paycheck?

heh

if you saw what i do
to that i get paid



i'm getting the last laugh

ilaughatyourlife: omg
ilaughatyourlife: i just saw like the hugest squirrel
ilaughatyourlife: it was like the size of a cat
ScaldinSpaldin: muffins taste like 5
ilaughatyourlife: yep
ScaldinSpaldin: so 5 muffins taste 25
ilaughatyourlife: lets go eat 5 muffins and find out
ilaughatyourlife: what if i eat 2.4 muffins
ilaughatyourlife: and you eat 67 muffins
ilaughatyourlife: what does that taste like?
ScaldinSpaldin: 25 muffins taste 125
ilaughatyourlife: yep
ScaldinSpaldin: 67 muffins taste 335
ilaughatyourlife: fun shit right there
ilaughatyourlife: OH homeless lady right outside my window with NO bra
ScaldinSpaldin: 2.4 muffins taste 12

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'l take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

a blonde was driving down a country road with two corn fields on each side of her. she sees another blonde kiaking in the middle of one so she slams down on her breaks and gets out of the car. than she said 'what the hell are you doing? it's stupid blondes like you that make us smart blondes look bad... If I could swim I'd go over there and kick your ass!"

she asked for an inuendo...
so I gave her one...

i don't know aaron but don't post things we do
lol

TheGreatSpaldino said:


hahahahahahahaha

that is very good

presently my favorite image:

hahahahaha

You can't upload images from your computer *ahem*, so the best I can do is a link.

http://www.solstation.com/jaymin/llamapics.htm

Everyone must go to this, it is wonderful.

um yeah .

lol

how do you make a 5 year old girl cry twice?



Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear!

ummm... dinner music for my family: http://www.batanga.com

dread_104 said:

brilliant!
I gotta do that some time.

I hate every wedding I go to because my aunts and grandma squeeze my cheeks and say, "You're next, you're next." Well that stopped when I started doing it to them at funerals.

dread_104 said:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

attendmyrequiem said:
everytime i hear that it makes me laugh
heh =)

ok i'm still quite sick and i'm seeing a lot of gross posts
less gross more funny...at least in here
thanks@

what could be funnier that toddler rape and Korean made children's novelties smeared with bloodbourne pathogens? geez!

whats the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walken.

Roger clemens dies. at the gates of heaven st. peter comes up to him and points to his left at an old beaten down house with a faded yankee flag in the window, in dire need of a paint job. however to st. peters left there lies a huge mansion with manacured lawn, 4 wings, a 50' flag pole in the center of the lawn bearing a huge red sox flag, a blue and red walk way leading up to the front door and a small red sox banner in ever window...roger sees the two houses and asks st. peter "whats the deal? i have won 3 world series rings, over 300 wins and 4000+ k's...why does pedro get a better house than me?" st. peter looks at roger and says "thats not pedro's house that's gods house....."

whats the worst thing about rollerskating?
telling your father you're gay

what did the deaf dumb and blind kid get for christmas?
cancer

whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?
christopher reeves after a fire

why cant black kids play in the sandbox?
cats will bury them

how many jews can fit in a car?
2 in the front, 2 in the back and 12 in the ashtray


all taken with a grain of salt, of course....

you can do better
c'mon i'm sick at home
entertain me
please?

abhorred, i just fell in love with you!!!

ok, since we've already crossed that line...

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
pizzas don't scream when you put 'em in an oven.

a pedophile and a little boy are walking in the woods at night.
the boy says to the pedophile, "geez, it's really scary in here. it's so dark and there's all these noises. it's really creepy!"
the pedophile says to the little boy, " how do you think i feel? i gotta walk out of here by myself."

whats the best thing about having sex with twenty-six year old girls?





there's twenty of them

why did the man cross the road?...



...he heard the chicken was a slut

One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before. Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying here on a cloud.
She spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered.
Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed got the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar. Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind
him. He looks over to see a 400 pound, 6'8" hairy biker- looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess."

A man with a giant orange for half of his head walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "Hey! What the hell happened to you buddy?"
The man says "well, I was rumaging through some old stuff when I came across a lamp. I rubbed it and *poof*! Out pops a genie and he grants me three wishes!"
"and what did you wish for?" the bartender asks.
"With my first wish," the guy says, "I asked for every woman I ever met to be madly in love with me and want me. All of a sudden I was surrounded by all of these women!
"With my second wish I asked for a million dollars that I could never lose and could never be stolen. BAM! I was rich.
"And for my third wish, I wished that half of my head was a giant orange."

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats could smell the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me", he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him, tongues hanging out for blood.
Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked. Yes, yes, YES!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. Good" said the first bat, "because I fucken didn't"

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him midnight. He didn't seem disturbed at all. (Whew! Got away with that one!). Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "oh, crap," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted."

Kalopsia said:

This isn't supposed to make sense right?

Kalopsia said:

that's so cute, yet so strange....

Josiah_the_Black said:


AHAHAHHAHA nice!

moran said:


ahahhaahh
conformist

retzam said:

as far as i can, you are right lol.

you obviousl don't know about the orange fuxxor

orange fuxxor:
http://www.returntothepit.com/view.php?formid=4339

succubus said:


????????????????

click on the link and read