If it wasn't for RTTP mobile I'd be so bored in here. It's so quiet & peaceful. The drippy faucet is a little annoying though.

yea well, I was taking a shit and some fellow employee threw a wet paper towel at me.. it hit me in the face and I piddled on myself. let's hope that doesn't happen to you.

NUH-UH

yea, I'm pissed.

Well at least you're pissed off and not pissed on...uh nevermind

Not a soul dared to even enter this time... win. Nothing ruins a trip to the shithouse like some lard ass who eats no fiber taking the stall next to you and loudly huffing & puffing his way through a shit that could qualify as cardiovascular exercise.

Yeah, we'll see how it goes when he's in the stall and I piss on a paper towel and toss it at him. I don't care if that gets me fired.

There's automatic lights in the bathroom at my work. today i took a shit long enough for the lights to go out halfway through.

Wait, how did you pee on yourself if you were taking a shit?

Trying to avoid the paper towel as you're pissing.

But you were shitting? I'm so confused. It's like a piss paradox. Pissadox.

Both stalls in my departmental shitter were covered in dry piss today.

Fucking savages.

I piss in empty water bottles all day.
Cry me a river.

I love squeezing out a late night loaf in the server room trashcan.

i usually just read the phoenix.

all alone with nothing to do but post on rttp. Love shitting at work. It's my pre break ritual. Come here for 15 mins then go on break for a half hour. Go America!

that happens to me at work all the time, i've learned to bring something to throw out of the stall or text one of my friends here at the risk of getting fucked with.

ditto! when playing DS in there, the light went off on me like a billion times.

I stand up and wave my arms.

I don't know why but that made me laugh.

The morning deuce is an important ritual.

POOPING IN AN EPIC THREAD

SHIT ON SHIT OR YOURE AN ASSHOLE

my usual morning is either at 11 or 12:30. I hate going at 12:30 cause I'm using my lunch time to shit.

This morning, I got up and in early so I went into the bathroom early.

U NEED MOAR COFFEE

im currently failing at not shitting during work. my ass is spackled with fail right now.

Damn it, over a month with no workplace shits and now I'm in here again. The sound of the ventilation system is kinda soothing though.

"wait.....you changed your name to Latrine?"

"yeah....used to be Shithouse"

"its a good change...its a good change"

I'm in there once or twice a day. my back kills (from being stupid at the gym) so I will probably be in there 3 times today. Why didn't I bring my nintendo ds?

shitting with a sore back is awful.

Don't mind my foot tapping in the stall next door. Sometimes my leg spasms when I'm in here a long time. I often wonder what it's like shitting at the library, anyone know about that?

OUTDATED CURRENT EVENTS HUMOR? I FEEL LIKE I AM WATCHING MURPHY BROWN

Wow this is a brutal shit. I'm about 15 minutes in. Some guy just ripped some really funny sounding farts at the urinal.

yesterday i had the worst smelling farts i have ever had in my life. i kept having to turn my fan on because my paperwork was starting to turn yellow. shitting took care of the problem.

the culprit was dinner from the night before, 6 Harpoon and a whole can of baked beans.

Dude quit stinking up the office with your rancid, stinky farts.

fail. no one was in the office when i was doing it.

Smells like a rotting yak carcass in here right now - that's your brand sucka.

Sometimes, when Chuck was on tour, we'd play a game we called yo-yo, where a rock hard turd would shoot out of his ass on a rope of coagulated jizm, and we'd bounce it around the room before stuffing it in the mouth of a nu-metal fan and forcing him to mount me with a deliciously hesitant anal virgin cock.

today, one guy put down 4 strips of tp and then a disposable seat cover. overkill much?

right now, as I type this, I am shitttttttting at work.
plop

6 veggie soft tacos and 6 veggie hard tacos last night. im loving the bathroom today!

Daaaaaaaaamn. Too much fruit! It's so quiet in here I can hear footsteps on the carpet all the way down the hallway.

Nice... got in here first after the cleaning crew. You could eat off the floor in here.

Wow this is a brutal one. Should have brought some light reading material like War and Peace or the unabridged dictionary.

Well there goes the 6 month no shit at work streak.

I'm about to do this in a minute.

This just gave me a good photosh.... oh wait, nvm. Wasn't me.

We have private restrooms that lock on my floor. Nice place to take a power nap.

fixed

Played some Castlevania instead.

FUCKING PINS AND NEEDLES IN MY LEG! Brutal, I'm gonna have to hobble out of here.

i doo doo'd at work today. it sounded like i was watching The Perfect Storm in the theater in there.

Coming to work 2 and a half hours early has made me pretty regular. Only at work though.

I always hear the Clerks quote, "Fucking savages in this town." everytime I see a piss covered seat.

Not work related, but I don't give a shit: We were playing near Albany with Tentacles and the venues' toilet was a nightmare without a door. Think Trainspotting.
I went next door to the dinner and found their shitter to be more relevant to my evacuation needs. As I'm sitting there, I hear someone come in and hastily run to a stall down the line.
The guy sits and then I hear it. The fapping. The furious, beast like fapping. Mother fucker must have been trying to set some kind of world record.
I'm still working and fart in the process. Fapping ceases and the guy quickly exits. I finish up and then get a banana thrown at me an hour later.

painfully gorged on smoked meat yesterday, always makes for the loudest anal explosions coming out of the bathroom 1 meter away from a quiet study group

i am currently drowning the huxtables.

That's how you know you've given it your all.

PISTACHIO DUMPSICLE WITH CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES OR FALSE

Months and months without a work caca and then: BOOM! Brutal.

my coworker just informed me that there's an elderly woman in the upstairs lobby who smells like she shat in her pants...

This one time, 5 minutes ago? PEANUTS.

Boom! Shake shake shake the room!