In his latest saga of Indiana-Jones-esque elaborate stories about why he can't show up for work on time, the fat guy I work with treated me to a tall tale about a recycling truck that was pelting him with trash, and berating him, thus causing him to be late for work. His revenge plans include a grocery list of phone calls to various departments, and a trip to a city council meeting where he'll demand to either have these ruffians fired or "tell everyone where the bodies are buried."

Dude's blowing the lid off everything

Blowhards are exhausting.

this guy sounds like Dwight and Kevin from The Office rolled into one.

hahaha i say that about people at my work. "it seems exhausting to be you".

hide his phone in the ceiling

Put his desk supplies into the vending machine or you're a pussy

make his desk out of wrapping paper.

Put his shit in jello molds.

lol