I'm staffing a VTC right now, and people are talking about a guy named "Dick Fap". I don't know if that's the actual spelling of him name, and but as far as I'm concerned it is. Either way LulZ.

I believe there's a Dick Hurtz from Holden, MA as well.

Dick Berg

There was a customer at a company my mom used to work for named Dick Buttmarc.

funny names are funny

pretty sure I would lose my shit

I suck at holding my immaturity down at work

I seem to remember a person running for some office around here named Dick Sweat. I got some lolz from that.

it would be AWESOME if someone was named "Dan Druff"
Too bad Druff isn't a last name. ...or is it?

Dick Army.

ok, I lol'd when I read

Bonerland

i had to get a birth certificate today for a woman named Sparkle Heaven-Angel Smith today.....when i see names like that, i get angry, that a human being worthless enough to give their child such a name exists and is sharing my oxygen.

on the funny side, some the hysterical names i have seen (these are all names i have actually seen on Massachusetts birth/death/marriage certificates)
Joy Gay
Iona Blackman
Faith Ina Blackman
Susan White Power
Little Dick Johnson
Steve Greathead

also, under race (on alot of the older records) i have seen words such as yellow, colored, red, brown, negro, and (this one must have been a mistake made by a total moron) i saw a man whose fathers race was listed as "Mongoloid"

oh another of my favorites, on alot of the 30's and 40's, if one parent was black, and one white, they would put a question mark next to the childs race, and where the fathers name should be, it says "Natural Father Declared Colored"

ahhh, the good ol days, hahahaha.

hahaha....i just got another great one, right after that first response i posted, i just had to help someone whose mothers name was "Jennatul" (sound it out)

IONA BLACKMAN

hahahaha

dickfap

i must meet this man.

hah, yeah that was my fav too.
funniest part is that it's a black woman.

So when her kids ask does she them their daddy's on the underground railroad?

Fiexd

HAHAHAHA!


Win

I work with many names, here's the best

Earl Toothaker
Dusty Partner
Mark Spanks
Tangy Peppers
Justin Baggs
Big Eagle Paul (no joke)
Jeremy Pusey (we said pussy)
My girl told me of the last names Glasscock and an asian woman with the last name Damho. Funny names rule.

I met a guy named Mike Hunt once, for real.

Dr. Roache A Stoner

ME too. He works with my Dad. I also had an english teacher in high school named Richard Hunt.

My boss used to work with a dude named Juan Ball...oddly enough he only had one ball.

i went to high school with this dude who had a horrendous limp, he was born with one knee facing the wrong way, and the dudes name was Dan Legg.

I used to have to deal with this guy from India who's first name was Prikshit. I don't know if he knew what his name meant in English.

When I had my internship at an "urban" middle school last year, the names I came across were astounding. Pure gold. I swear there's either some sort of Scrabble-esque game where parents get points for absurdity and/or bizarre letter combinations - how else would you even think of something as semantically unsound as "Romayzhjah"? Or "Dystani" pronounced "destiny"? There must be some oneupmanship going on in the colored community with cursing their children with hellish appelations. Black boys named "Taiwan" and girls named "India". Do negroes come from either country??? I named my betta fish "Bangladesh" in tribute to shwoogie naming practices.

Y'know, as much as I try to - we're talkin "conscious effort" here, folks - evenly distribute my loathing of humanity, certain populations go out of their way to demand special attention.

Perhaps one day my dream of widespread sterilization campaign will be a reality.

for the win -l-

i work with this kid named McLovin

I have a client named Richard Dick.

And it's not just a clever name...he's a fucking douche.

i thought his leg was fucked up from a car accident?

fuck you guys, just let me walk in peace

hard to believe.... and why would you know about his ball? I guess if i had that name, AND only had one ball, i might joke about it with people too.

no, he was born with one of his knees facing the wrong way.

Steven Excellent
work login name: sexcellent

when i worked with DYA at a copier repair place we had a meeting about the competition and what we could do to beat them. When the guy wrote "xerox" on the board, DYA turns to me and says "whose the straight-edge company named ero". I thought i was gonna pass out trying to hold the laughter in.

up

these were from a mailing list for a company i used to work for:

reuben fuchs
jackie asse
princess livingston

while on the topic of fuchs, i worked at an industrial supply warehouse a few years back and one of the companies we dealt with was named:

fuchs lubricants

that story wins

lulz

My half sister-in-law named her daughter Armani. I decided Armani was a little too upscale for her mother and made up an appropriately bastardized name for the niglet: Naw'tikuh Laren.

One of the things I'm looking forward to in an Obama presidency is the coming sea change in hoodrat naming conventions. Getting away from names driven by material desires and focusing more on names that will give their children the motivation to pursue successful professional careers. Names like: Electrakardiagram, Senata, Congressia, State'Comptrolla, Fishuarysandwildlifecommisshuner

brilliant!!

When I worked a Stop & Shop in high school, I rang up a woman named Rita Magazine.