edit....video thing didn't work...here are the links

i need advice
these are videos from my first comedy show ever

part one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPMxgo8gNDQ

part two
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gK8drJ0satU

so i need to put together a 20-25 minute routine
i want anyone/everyone (who would be cool/nice enough to do so) to please, do me a big favor, watch my videos, and tell me every single joke that you think is funny enough to keep using, and tell me every joke that you think is not worth keeping on my set list.


and i also need (for anyone who has ever seen me live since my first show) to know if any jokes from any of my more recent stuff stand out (in a good or bad way) to you.


lastly...the abortion song....thumbs up or down???

i hear alot of people say that it's the funniest thing ever, and many others say that song parodies are lame and "hackey"

please, let me know

thanks,
ORGY

bennyhillifier

bennyhillifier

Thanks Aaron!

if you click qoute you can see how i did it for future reference

you never told me what is the deal with airplane peanuts.

not really funny, man. try smashing some watermelons or something

they are actually shredded cardboard mixed with dollar store peanut butter, compressed into peanut-esque shaped, food-like items.

i wouldn't eat them

backed

sorry you feel that way mike.
but hey, if you like gallagher, that tells me all i need to know about the validity of your opinion.

hah...word

meh. Mythbusters proved that cardboard is neither good nor bad for you.

it was only meant to be a crappy joke....thanks for ruining what little merit it had.

my dog eats a shit ton of cardboard.

take it easy father christmas, didn't mean to seem like a jerk. that was just a little somethin' that us folks in the comedy biz call a joke. it's usually followed by a rimshot or a "HIOOOOOOOOOOOOO" or a smashed melon

seriously the braille dick joke is pretty funny

SRSLY, work on your footwork. Not even kidding. Work on a good "stage pace" - the "rock back and forth in a groove" thing is an easy habit to fall into (happens to me playing music sometimes), but it projects the complete opposite of confidence. Pace to one end of the stage, pause and do something before you go back the other way. Break up the rhythm. Sounds ridiculous, I know, but it'll sell the whole thing.

And the Abortion Song is a decent ice-breaker; hang on to it until something better comes along.

I liked it overall, solid effort.

(Could probably do without the volunteer for the Chris Benoit impression. It'd be funnier solo.)

Do I get back the 15 minutes of mylife that I just wasted? There are so many things I would rather do than listen to this again.
1. I would rather eat the cottage cheese out of Orgy's rolls.
2. I would rather cut off his toes and make corn chowder.
3. I would rather search a roll for missing black child named Reuben.
4. I would rather ask him for a GO PHONE?
5. I would rather hunting for Waldo in his cheese taint.

i went to elementary school with a black boy named Reuben, idk what became of him.

6. I would rather pain his ass cheeks green and red and spread christmas cheer.

paint (sp.)

A lot of the jokes feel really forced. I agree with DYA on the stage confidence.

I really really liked the braille dick joke but I definitely think you could have executed it way better. Most of your jokes would have been better with better timing and execution.

Just because the jokes are "offensive" doesn't mean you have to be loud and obnoxious. It's much funnier if you're subtle, so the audience doesn't expect you to say what you do. Don't have a disclaimer. The jokes are good but you should try and relax.

fake persona #219
1.your mom is a whore
2.your dad is a fag
3.your sister gave me herpees
4.you suck cock for coke.
5.i saw you blow a dog

i asked for serious opinions (contructive criticism, not lame attempts at insults) fag.

it's ok though, some day you'll get A.I.D.S.
i'm fairly certain of that

to the rest of you, thank you for your input
i have heard alot about watching the foot work, i have been working on the stage movements (lately, i've been keeping the mic on stand, and only takin it off to do jokes that require movement)

as far as my timing/delivery, i understand that needs work.....did i mention this was the video of my very first show?

as far as being loud and obnoxious, a lot of people have told me that using my size, demeanor, volume and appearance to my advantage in an attempt to be both disgusting and intimidating

(cont.)
anyway, thanks again to those of you who gave serious contructive criticism.

i will continue working on the way i deliver the material.....

oh...kya....i replaced the benoit impression with an awesome benoit joke....

i ask everyone who likes wrestling, then i tell them "my favorite match of all time was chris benoit's final match.....anyone see it? it was triple threat against his wife and kid........the weight machine won"

Orgy!! Let me know next time you do a show. Any day of the week I'll fucking be there. Keep working on it, you're a hilarious motherfucker.

And that blind girl reading the genital warts thing made me LOL hard.

ha, thanks mike....
unfortunately, i don't have any definate gigs booked until august 15 (it's a friday night.....at that same club in new bedford)
but hopefully i will be doing more shows between now and then, and as soon as i get another one booked i will let you know bro!!

Here are my complaints.

1. Youtube lists "Smoking T Girl Being Very Bad" as a related video to this.
2. This material differs zero from discourse in any normal conversation I've ever had with Orgy haha.

hey, i have no control over the dipshits youtube brother! hahaha

and yeah, you're right, my material is pretty much business as usual, ha!

-l- \m/

"dipshits AT youtube" that was supposed to be

Did you spend the first hour at work thinking up that shit? What's the matter big fella? Can dish it out but you can't take it? So, you're going to be a big star? Going to keep people in stitches? Going to do comedy for your friends that isn't even funny? Going to get laughs just because people are drunk?

Ladies and gentlemen, Carrot Top has left the building. Sour grapes.

ok, once again fuckwad, you are an asshat.
1.i thought that up in less time than it takes to bring your mom to orgasm (46 seconds)
2.while yes, alot of friends were at my first show, i have made many others laugh at my shows since then (some drunk, some sober)
3.i can take whatever insults you can dish out, but i will continue to dish back, faggot.
4.you are one out of four people (out of the hundreds of people who i have never met in my life) to watch this video and say none of it was funny, so obviously your opinion fails
5.hmmm, carrot top is gay (like you) and does prop comedy.....i fuck your mom and sister, and tell jokes.....huge difference.
6.sour grapes? not at all....how 80's of you to use such a queer, outdated expression though.

tell your mom if my dinner isn't ready by 6 tonight, she'll have another black eye to explain to the neighbors

two more things.....

1.as i said, this thread was meant to give me constructive critism....if you wanna shoot your mouth off (after you swallow all that cum) go ahead and start another thread called "i have no life, and no friends, so i'll just insult orgy's comedy"

2.i'd be willing to bet you do not have the sack (or the talent) to do what i did, which is
a. write and practice a 13 minute comedy set in less than a month and get on stage and give it try
b.videotape it and put it on the internet
and finally c. post it here (where it's rare that anyone gives compliments or constructive criticism) and leave myself open to extremely brutal verbal bashing

The "material"is not getting any better. You fail. The shit you're trying to dish back is not insulting. You get more pissed with every post.



To let you know, the female orgasm is a myth made up by liberals to make men feel bad. If a woman is unsatisfied then you have done YOUR job. You have openly admitted you are gay. I compared you to it and you said he was gay.

You could not give anyone a black eye. Who are you kidding? You would build up a sweat just thinking about it. Clenching your fist would cause your heart rate to elevate too fast and an actual swing of the fist would cause you to have a stroke.

So, you actually wrote and practiced your material? Don't give up your day job. Tell your girlfriend I'll be over later and to save me a plate. Or will you two be at YOUR (your mom's) place?

learn to handle e-heckling

"Father Christmas" was the only funny thng about this thread.

The only true comedy video--


bennyhillifier

i'll give ya this much........."To let you know, the female orgasm is a myth made up by liberals to make men feel bad. If a woman is unsatisfied then you have done YOUR job"
that was actually really fuckin funny.

yeah ok....fat guys can't fight except, ya know.....butterbean, the fat hardcore kid who beat up danzig, etc......i played drums for scum bitch, if i can play blast beats, then i wouldn't "have a stroke attempting to clench my fist" you homo.

yes, i did write and practice my material, just like jim norton, and if you see the clip of his first t.v. appearance (not even his first show) it was god awful.....

you (as i said) are one out of only four people who think it was that awful....most people think it was pretty god damn good for my first show.

see, if you knew anything about comedy, you would know that writing it is hard, practice is even harder (since you have no way of figuring out how people will react to it until you get on stage), and that video is much funnier than most people's first set ever. douche.

i'm not getting pissed, just making fun of you for being the biggest homo on earth, and defending my point of view.......and i wasn't whining about anything, so that (extremely overused) waaaaaahmbulance thing is as much a failure as your attempts to talk shit....

i called carrot top gay, because he is, and as i said - and will repeat - i have nothing in common with him whatsoever....so your point there fails as well....

and by calling me gay, then talking about my girl, you contradict yourself, and prove how retarded you are.

no, we do not (as you implied) live with my mom, we have a very nice apartment, come on over next time your mom does.....you can make us dinner while she has a threeway with me and my girl (your mommy is so good at giving rimjobs)

mikepile....i am handling eheckling, the same way i would handle a real heckler from the stage, by talking shit back to the douche.... what comic do you know of that ignores hecklers? are you a fucking retard??

p.s.
if you think the lame shit you are shooting out is supposed to be insulting, and yet expect me to believe that me talking about sexual experiences/transmitted diseases involving your mom and sister is a "failure at insulting you", than you are either full shit, or just have a really shitty family

full of shit that was

im not reading any of this

OK....don't

The further you try and prove your point, the dumber you sound. The stuff I am saying is insulting because it is based on truth, where your attempts at insults fail miserably because they are the same over-used jokes you always churn out, not based on truth. You see, it would be an insult if I had a sister. Mother jokes? Please.

I could come up with the same shitty material. It's called reciting an Anal Cunt record.

Tell your girlfriend to go to the supermarket tonight and get some syrup or jelly so she can toss my salad. Speaking of your girlfriend. Since a girl would have really low self-esteem to date you, I need to know how many times she was raped by her father and/or uncle. Or is it still going on. In closing, I have some new and original material for you:

Gay, gay, gay, fetus, abortion, faggot, rimjob, atm, molested, gay, gay, gay, facial, nigger, spic, gay, gay, gay, fatty, fetus, fag, Jim is gay, your mother, abortion, incest, gay...

well instead of responding with anything funny youre flailing around like some kind of michael richards

no, there is no truth in your statements.
your insults are no more insulting or creative than mine
your opinion means nothing, which is why i am going to stop reading this thread, knowing full well that i am a better person than you, because you are a worthless piece of sperm covered duck shit, and i am a fat guy who writes good jokes (that only fags like you and mike pile don't appreciate)

mike pile.....my responses are more than fine, your opinion fails, just like your existance, tell your mom i'm coming for her after i'm done with that other homo's mom, sister and aunt.

well dude you weren't really looking for criticism when you put these videos up, you were just looking for more praise and laughs. the problem is you're no longer in a club with a dozen other drunk people and a few of your friends



is this supposed to be funny? if somebody was heckling you at a club and you said this to them you'd look pathetic. the only way you could salvage your new disastrous career in comedy is if you yanked off your face mask to reveal you're Andy Kaufman and shout "I GOT YOU GOOD"