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returntothepit >> discuss >> Riddle me this RTTP by bradmann on Jan 25,2008 10:50am
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toggletoggle post by bradmann   at Jan 25,2008 10:50am
so i met this smokin' Italian chick who i've been trying to get busy with. we've hung out a few times before this but i decided on wednesday i'd make my move. after a little carousing at a bar, i walked her back to her place and she invited me in. we talked for a little while and then i went for the kiss but she wasn't into it.

this is her reasoning: she really cares about her "sort-of" boyfriend who is currently dating one of her good friends and has been for the past 4 years.

this is the epitome of skewed moral judgment.

i haven't dismissed her entirely, but mostly.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 10:52am
Are you trying to figure girls out?
warning, epic failure eminent.



toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Jan 25,2008 10:53am
GTFO.


Seriously, that's a giant, flashing "I'm fucked up and will be doing the same thing to you soon if you let me" sign. I mean, go ahead and bang her if she's into it - it's not like you're breaking up anything special (or healthy) - but keep that one at arm's length at all costs.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 10:54am
that was my first thought too.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 10:54am
that and she obviously has herpes from fucking this dude behind her goodfriend's back.



toggletoggle post by bradmann   at Jan 25,2008 10:55am
DestroyYouAlot said:
GTFO.


Seriously, that's a giant, flashing "I'm fucked up and will be doing the same thing to you soon if you let me" sign. I mean, go ahead and bang her if she's into it - it's not like you're breaking up anything special (or healthy) - but keep that one at arm's length at all costs.


i mean that's the plan. i'm going to some french party tonight and she'll be there. all i know is i'm not walking her back all out of my way and shit.

and no rev, i'm not trying to figure girls out. that's impossible.



toggletoggle post by BobNOMAAMRooney nli at Jan 25,2008 10:56am
TAKE WHAT YOU WANT, RAPE THE BITCH



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 10:57am
the girl might be temporary.. but herpes is forever.
You know this is the kind of situation that leads to you and this guy being on a talk show when she gets pregnant, blames it on the dude she "loves" and then in the end the tests say it's you. Do you really want that?



toggletoggle post by aaron_michael  at Jan 25,2008 10:58am
DestroyYouAlot said:
Seriously, that's a giant, flashing "I'm fucked up and will be doing the same thing to you soon if you let me" sign.


Definitely backing this statement. If you actually dig her, abort.
If she's willing to lead you on into a potentially fucktastic situation while she's got some other guy on the line, what makes you think she won't do the same thing if you wind up dating her.
Tricks man.



toggletoggle post by bradmann   at Jan 25,2008 10:58am
the_reverend said:
the girl might be temporary.. but herpes is forever.
You know this is the kind of situation that leads to you and this guy being on a talk show when she gets pregnant, blames it on the dude she "loves" and then in the end the tests say it's you. Do you really want that?


thats what bukkake is for my friend.



toggletoggle post by GoatCatalyst   at Jan 25,2008 11:02am
Not to be racist or anything, but if she's Italian and goes to French parties... she's likely susceptible to savage Gallic anal. I say "pursue" but be wary of the snakes in her head and let the ol "PIBH" be the extent of your relations with the sozzle.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 11:03am
Sexually transmitted disease (STD)—an infection that is passed during oral, anal, or vaginal sexual contact. There are many sexually transmitted diseases, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes, HIV, genital warts, and trichomonas.



toggletoggle post by bradmann   at Jan 25,2008 11:04am
GoatCatalyst said:
Not to be racist or anything, but if she's Italian and goes to French parties... she's likely susceptible to savage Gallic anal. I say "pursue" but be wary of the snakes in her head and let the ol "PIBH" be the extent of your relations with the sozzle.


PIBH= penis in butt hole?

that would be money if she dug pooper sex



toggletoggle post by Timma at Jan 25,2008 11:09am
WARNING: The following phrase is comprised of coniving, psychotic, and/or completely fucked-up woman speak:

"sort-of boyfriend"

I'd be careful with this one man...only a matter of time before shit hits the proverbial fan.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 11:10am
no coment



toggletoggle post by bradmann   at Jan 25,2008 11:12am
i mean, i really had very little intention of pursuing her before i made this thread. i just wanted to share this horrible display of a woman to all of you caring, insightful, and compassionate boardgoers.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 11:13am
mess with the bull, get the horns.



toggletoggle post by GoatCatalyst   at Jan 25,2008 11:14am
Precisely. Though you may want to administer my patented "will I catch something?" test prior to said PIBH - if you can fit four fingers in her bum she is most certainly a whore and you would do well to use a durable latex dongsheath as bareback and lambskin pleasantries are out of the question.



toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Jan 25,2008 11:17am
GoatCatalyst said:
Not to be racist or anything, but if she's Italian and goes to French parties... she's likely susceptible to savage Gallic anal.


"Savage Gallic Anal" is now a band name. Who's playing what?



toggletoggle post by largefreakatzero at Jan 25,2008 11:21am
1. Find out who the "friend" is that is dating the "sort-of" boyfriend. Rape the shit out of her.
2. Find the "sort-of" boyfriend. Rape him too.
3. ????
4. Profit!



toggletoggle post by KillerKadoogan   at Jan 25,2008 11:39am
Is her name Mya?

Does she live in Mission Hill?

Does she have an awesome collection of Ramones lunchboxes?

If you answered yes to all 3, it's a trap, and she will ruin your shit.



toggletoggle post by bradmann   at Jan 25,2008 11:58am
KillerKadoogan said:
Is her name Mya?

Does she live in Mission Hill?

Does she have an awesome collection of Ramones lunchboxes?

If you answered yes to all 3, it's a trap, and she will ruin your shit.


no this girl is an actual italian, from milan and shit.

but that sucks man. beware of calumet.



toggletoggle post by corpus_colostomy at Jan 25,2008 11:59am
never date an eyetalian chick...they are crazier than a bag of shit house rats.
im 100% ginzo and the first thing my old man told me was stay clear, young man.



toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Jan 25,2008 12:00pm
KillerKadoogan said:
Is her name Mya?

Does she live in Mission Hill?

Does she have an awesome collection of Ramones lunchboxes?

If you answered yes to all 3, it's a trap, and she will ruin your shit.


There has got to be an awesome story behind this.



toggletoggle post by aaron_michael  at Jan 25,2008 12:13pm
corpus_colostomy said:
never date an eyetalian chick...they are crazier than a bag of shit house rats.
im 100% ginzo and the first thing my old man told me was stay clear, young man.


I lived with an italian girlfriend for 3 months.
she went batshit.
then stole my cats.

motherfuck.
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=17817750



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 12:14pm
robin should be posting in this thread.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 12:14pm



toggletoggle post by Yeti at Jan 25,2008 12:55pm
yeah dude get the fuck away while you can. even fucking her once will open the gates.



toggletoggle post by KillerKadoogan   at Jan 25,2008 12:59pm
bradmann said:
KillerKadoogan said:
Is her name Mya?

Does she live in Mission Hill?

Does she have an awesome collection of Ramones lunchboxes?

If you answered yes to all 3, it's a trap, and she will ruin your shit.


no this girl is an actual italian, from milan and shit.

but that sucks man. beware of calumet.


Bahahaha she really is on Calumet, too. Wasn't me, though. She fucked over my buddy pretty well. At least you didn't get sucked into the false comfort of Joey Ramone's face on a thermos.



toggletoggle post by bradmann   at Jan 25,2008 1:06pm
and on fifth glance, how much am i missing?






toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Jan 25,2008 1:08pm
Well, she is decently attractive. Nice boobtop.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 1:33pm
nerd slut.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 1:34pm
and girls from milan sound stupid and are whores. that's what carina taught me.



toggletoggle post by aaron_michael  at Jan 25,2008 1:46pm
bradmann said:






toggletoggle post by SkinSandwich at Jan 25,2008 2:06pm

no this girl is an actual italian, from milan and shit.

but that sucks man. beware of calumet.>>


Remember, the Italians sided with Hitler. Watch your step with these folks.



toggletoggle post by Fuck Logging In at Jan 25,2008 4:55pm
she's cute, but not hot enough to get messed-up with a head fuck situation. there's plenty of cute-nerd girls who ain't crazy.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Jan 25,2008 4:57pm
I just read this entire thread and have but one qustion.

WHEN THE FUCK DID RTTP TURN INTO THE B9 BOARD?



toggletoggle post by DomesticTerror at Jan 25,2008 5:02pm
fuck her boyfriend. that'll show her.



toggletoggle post by DaveFromTheGrave  at Jan 25,2008 5:14pm
Timma said:
WARNING: The following phrase is comprised of coniving, psychotic, and/or completely fucked-up woman speak:

"sort-of boyfriend"

I'd be careful with this one man...only a matter of time before shit hits the proverbial fan.


I have figured out women's vocabulary enough to decipher this phrase, "sort-of boyfriend."

This is a guy who she's been hanging out with and probably fucking, helping him to cheat on his actual girlfriend. She wants a relationship with him but he doesn't want one with her because she's a stupid twat, so he just fucks her and leads her on. She's not comfortable with calling him her boyfriend because, frankly, he isn't, but she wishes he was. Eventually he'll get sick of her and throw her out with the trash. Then she'll be ripe for the picking, a used up stupid whore all for you. life is good.



toggletoggle post by DaveFromTheGrave  at Jan 25,2008 5:16pm
the_reverend said:
and girls from milan sound stupid and are whores. that's what carina taught me.


I thought Carina was Canadian?



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 25,2008 5:23pm
if you tell her that, she will correct you and say something about how she is italian, but was just born in canada.



toggletoggle post by BobNOMAAMRooney nli at Jan 25,2008 5:26pm
You should fuck her, film it, then edit in Super Mario Bros. sound effects.



toggletoggle post by pam nli at Jan 25,2008 5:28pm
She's not into it, hang it up and save yourself some misery.



toggletoggle post by DaveFromTheGrave  at Jan 25,2008 5:47pm
pam nli said:
She's not into it, hang it up and save yourself some misery.


best advice I've heard in a long time.



toggletoggle post by dreadkill  at Jan 25,2008 5:53pm
Riddle me, riddle me, rot-tot-tote!
A little wee man, in a red red coat!
A staff in his hand, and a stone in his throat;
If you'll tell me this riddle, I'll give you a groat.



toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Jan 25,2008 6:08pm
PUT IT IN HER POOPER



toggletoggle post by titsmagee at Jan 25,2008 8:15pm
MAMA MIA ...




toggletoggle post by Mucko  at Jan 25,2008 9:24pm
Looks like she's wearing cover-up to hide an adam's apple. Are her feet real long too?



toggletoggle post by Mucko  at Jan 25,2008 9:26pm
Even better is that the fact that you are asking advice from a bunch people who cannot get laid.



toggletoggle post by Lamp  at Jan 25,2008 10:02pm
RichHorror said:
I just read this entire thread and have but one qustion.

WHEN THE FUCK DID RTTP TURN INTO THE B9 BOARD?


You took the words right out of my mouth.

To the OP of this thread, get ebola and die in a grease fire.



toggletoggle post by Lamp  at Jan 25,2008 10:03pm
BobNOMAAMRooney nli said:
You should fuck her, film it, then edit in Super Mario Bros. sound effects.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



toggletoggle post by Whoremastery  at Jan 26,2008 10:31am
had kinda the same situation like this just happen to me....stay away! and write a song or, two about her and, how she's a fucking douche...then watch her cry...you'll feel so much better!



toggletoggle post by pam nli at Jan 26,2008 12:18pm
Mucko said:
Even better is that the fact that you are asking advice from a bunch people who cannot get laid.


I get laid, I'm a female, thus my advice is the only one that should be taken.

To be totally blunt: If you're so uninteresting to her that she won't even break her "leaving my options open for someone else's boyfriend" stance, you are wasting your time and she is probably a fucked up dizzy broad in the first place.

However if you're determined to lure in this broad...my best advice is to wear a wedding ring and talk about your wife and kids. Judging by her current situation, this should work like Spanish fly.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 26,2008 12:24pm
that photoshop job is hilarious.



toggletoggle post by titsmagee at Jan 26,2008 4:51pm
yeah i was gunna put something else in her hand... ;0



hint*
(it starts with a "P" and ends in "enis")



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Jan 26,2008 4:56pm
titsmagee said:
MAMA MIA ...



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god, I saw this image first and didn't even realize it was a photoshop. Bravo, my friend. Bravo.



toggletoggle post by pam   at Jan 26,2008 5:05pm
menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:
titsmagee said:
MAMA MIA ...



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god, I saw this image first and didn't even realize it was a photoshop. Bravo, my friend. Bravo.


I didn't catch it at first either. I can't even open a picture on that program, I am impressed.



toggletoggle post by the_taste_of_cigarettes  at Jan 26,2008 7:17pm
This does not appear to be "Smokin' Hot" to me



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Jan 26,2008 7:29pm
The shadow of the bowl on the table = awesome.



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Jan 26,2008 7:31pm
I can't believe nobody's said "The Hot Chick Who Was Italian or Maybe Some Kind of Spanish" yet.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 26,2008 11:55pm
I'm betting the wants 2 dicks, 1 ass



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Jan 27,2008 12:46am
fast forward 8 months.



toggletoggle post by douchebag_patrol at Jan 27,2008 9:15am



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