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returntothepit >> discuss >> Thinking about suicide? by Troll on Apr 17,2007 5:54pm
Add To All Your Pages!
toggletoggle post by Troll at Apr 17,2007 5:54pm edited Apr 17,2007 6:02pm
Free online read!

http://www.cummingsdesign.com/Laymans_Guide_Suicide_Cover.htm

There's a book for everything these days!




toggletoggle post by largefreakatzero at Apr 17,2007 5:56pm
I am going to get this for all my relatives this Christmas.



toggletoggle post by Troll at Apr 17,2007 5:57pm


LMAO



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Apr 17,2007 6:04pm
"The last self help book you'll ever need... unless you skim."





toggletoggle post by Whoremastery  at Apr 17,2007 6:07pm edited Apr 17,2007 6:08pm
i like how it tells you in" cooking with gas" to wear goggles...and not to breath in the hazardous fumes..before you blow yourself up.



toggletoggle post by Troll at Apr 17,2007 6:10pm edited Apr 17,2007 6:11pm
Suicide Note (Printer Friendly Version)

just fill in the blanks!


lol!



toggletoggle post by Whoremastery  at Apr 17,2007 6:15pm
what!? no box for taxes?



toggletoggle post by Troll at Apr 17,2007 6:16pm
I'm gonna fill it out right now!



toggletoggle post by Whoremastery  at Apr 17,2007 6:22pm
what box are ya gonna check?



toggletoggle post by Troll at Apr 17,2007 6:23pm
all of em



toggletoggle post by Troll at Apr 17,2007 6:24pm
I think I could've contributed a few suicide ideas to this book.



toggletoggle post by Whoremastery  at Apr 17,2007 6:26pm
Troll said:
all of em


Why? How did your financial planner piss you off?



toggletoggle post by Troll at Apr 17,2007 6:27pm
this shit cracks me up



toggletoggle post by Troll at Apr 17,2007 6:30pm
Your Epitaph (yard eye catchers)

Leave a lasting impression long after guests have gone home by engraving your words in stone.

With the right message, your head stone will be the talk of the town, state, maybe even entire country, for years to come.




toggletoggle post by Troll at Apr 17,2007 6:30pm
Here are a few possible suggestions:

I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK
YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED
SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE!
NO SOLICITORS
KEEP OFF THE GRASS
HAVE A NICE DAY
HI MOM!
GOT A MATCH?
I'M DOWN HERE!
IT'S DARK DOWN HERE.
COULD YOU TURN UP THE HEAT?
WHO SHUT OFF THE LIGHTS?
I CAN'T BREATHE.
WHO'S GOT THE DEET?
DON'T CALL ME CHICKEN.
DON'T CALL ME LOSER.
TRY TO GET MY MONEY NOW.
THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES.
DO NOT DISTURB.
I WAS DARED.
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
AM I DIVORCED NOW?
DO I DETECT RADON?
BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT I'D DO IT!
PLEASE CURB YOUR PETS.
911 WAS A LITTLE LATE.
THIS ISN'T THE CASKET I ORDERED.
THANKS DEAR.
RETURN MAIL TO SENDER.
I DIDN'T EVEN FEEL IT.
VANDALS WILL BE PROSECUTED.
KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILDREN ARE?
THE BUCK STOPS HERE.
MY CELL PHONE IS...
IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN.
NO MORE PHONE CALLS PLEASE.
THANKS FOR NOTHING.
HAVE FUN WITH MY STUFF.
NO DIGGING.
I ONLY WISH I'D DONE THIS SOONER.
NO BIG DEAL.
NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME.
THANKS FOR THE PARTY!
GO AWAY!
I REALLY HATE WORMS.
IS MY CREDIT OK NOW?
YOU'RE STANDING ON ME.
WOW, THAT SMARTS!!
See how much fun your epitaph can be? There's normally a per character carving fee plus the shorter your epitaph, the larger the text can be.



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Apr 17,2007 6:33pm
the thing i wanna know is, if you try to commit suicide by one of the methods in the book and it doesnt work but instead you end up living a life of horrible disfigurement... can you sue the writer?



toggletoggle post by Troll at Apr 17,2007 6:36pm edited Apr 17,2007 6:37pm
Whoremastery said:
Troll said:
all of em


Why? How did your financial planner piss you off?


Hahaha! Yea what am I thinking?!?! I guess I'd just check off "Life" Hahaha!


My eptiaph would say "Metal made me do it"



toggletoggle post by Whoremastery  at Apr 17,2007 6:47pm
i'd check off excise tax!



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