You now I was thinking about Jesus today. Thinking about what he would do in my situation. He probably wouldn't be on this board; but then again, Jesus loves a sinner. So, maybe he would be here? But, that's besides my point. You know when Jesus spreads his arms in statues like he is saying, "come to me, or I love you", signifing the cross, ect. Well, I really had this revelation about the meaning. His arms spread means that he is completely defenseless among everyone and everything. Therefore, it's pretty silly to be defesive about what anyone says about me AND NEITHER SHOULD ANY OF YOU BE DEFENSIVE. I see so many people on this board constantly defending themselves throughout threads (not just the ones about me).

This was my purpose here... to tell you all this... a reminder to be defenseless. Life is much more better that way.

I'll still continue to post shows every now and then. However, my purpose here is now complete. Now you know. God bless. And no, I'm serious. I really won't be back. My job is done. I hope you heed my advice.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Leigh

Isn't there like 3 of these threads?

Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

Let me tell you something Bandero. You pull any of you crazy shit with us, you flash your piece out on the lanes? I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fuckin' trigger until it goes click.

Archaeon said:

hahahahahaha, i second this.

RichHorror said:


Hahahahaha...the Jesus molests children. Shut the fuck up, Donny!

He's a pederast.

BlackMetalLady said:

According to Jews, Christ was a prophet of God.

According to Christians, he was the messiah himself.

According to many athiests, he was just a man.

No matter what your view, mine is simple. Whatever he was, he failed miserably. On top of that, if the new testament is to be believed, it is none but Christ himself who breaks the 7 seals, casts the bowl and trumpet judgments against manking, and rides out of the Heavens to slaughter us wholesale.

Yeah, you have lots of fun with your pal Jesus. If you happen to talk to him, tell him to stay the fuck away from me.

Fuck Christ and fuck you.

he was a black dude that started a cult... why won't sameul l jackson do that.

BlackMetalLady said:

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

CHRIST EXPLODED

if you people just used the ignore feature like you should then none of this shit would even matter. but instead, not only do you not use the ignore feature but you quote her so that i have to see it. So now instead of dissapearing without anyone giving a shit she's gonna go out with a bunch of drama and attention that she obviously is in desperate need of.

This thread is where I'm taking the incentive to ignore people who quote this beast.

Have fun with your drama.

my jesus has kung-fu grip. and personally I dig the new testament, especially the dragons.

Wow, blackmetallady has finally been proven to be bullshit. The question is who was behind it. Normally, I would be behind shit like his, but for some odd reason I am going to go out on a limb and say Dwyer.

EXPLODING CHRIST

Not me, why would I waste my time?!

AUTOPSY_666 said:

if you don't like wasting your time, why do you constantly correct people's spelling?

Constructive criticism.

*sigh*

I'm not even going to bother...

God bless? "a reminder to be defenseless"? Paying homage to what I believe to be a fictional character,created as a scare tactic is to truly let my mind be at its most defenseless,I cannot take heed to this advice,as I might as well lay on the ground and be kicked in the head a thousand times over.

Lamp said:

This did make me laugh though.

AUTOPSY_666 said:

Oh man, that's not cool but I had to chuckle...

F U C K C H R I S T

This thread makes me want to listen to Amon Amarth.

Thousand Years Of Oppression

He hung on the windswept world tree
Whose roots no one knows
For nine whole days he hung there pierced
By Gugnir, his spear

Swimming in pain he peered into the depths
And cried out in agony
Reaching out he grasped the runes
Before falling back from the abyss

He gave himself unto himself
In a world of sheering pain
So that we all may live our lives
By the wisdom that he gained

You doubted him, and spread their lies
Across the world, with sword in hand
You raped our souls, and stole our right
All for the words of mild-mannered man

You listened to mild-mannered god
And put your faith in deceitful words
Your powertrip was paid by blood
In kindness' name you spilled our blood

I refuse to submit
To the god you say is kind
I know what's right, and it is time
It's time to fight, and free our minds

Let me die without fear!
As I have lived without it
So shut your mouth and spare my ears
I'm fed up with all your bullshit

After a thousand years of oppression
Let the berserks rise again
Let the world hear these words once more:
"Save us, O Lord, from the wrath of the Norsemen"

Our spirits were forged in snow and ice
To bend like steel forged over fire
We were not made to bend like reed
Or to turn the other cheek

He grasped the runes, they're ours to use

save me jebus!

why does dwyer wish to have a sexual relationship with a black dude?

I just read the top part and there were a couple other threads like this... sounds like someone was smoking jibbas and seeing JAH.

to everyone, a slice of mount zion. rastafari, de higher then high, jah.

BlackMetalLady said:

His arms spread means that his hands were nailed to a crucifix. That's what it means. I hardly see how someone who was tortured to death equates to you pestering people on a messageboard. What would Jesus do? I'm pretty sure if a group of people got together and said "Hey Jesus, no thanks get lost" he'd give it up already and go find somebody else to talk to. This is easily one of the stupidest, most arrogant things I've ever heard anyone say and you should be thoroughly embarassed.

and p.s. You look like Mortiis.

the_reverend said:

... think I'm gonna go listen to Bad Brains, now.

ha! she does look like Mortiis.

HAhaha, dude I can't stop laughing about the Mortiis comment -- that's fucking great. Someone should mail her the fake ears.

xmikex said:>>and p.s. You look like Mortiis.>>

you sir are a god. that was fucking brilliant.

I've always wondered how long Jesus stayed on the cross before he crapped his pants.
Because during your crucifixion, eventually, you would crap your pants.

F.A.C.E. said:

They stole this picture from Something Awful.

aside from the funny jesus pictures this thread is gay

every jesus picture is a funny jesus picture

jesus was a funny guy

This one is REEEEEEALLY bad, but it's funny because the Jesus in this picture kind of looks like the reverend.

^^HA!

its too bad Mortiis turned out to be a Euro-pop elf. when he was the dungeon elf his music was bad ass. Fodt Til A Herske is my top favorite ambient records.

record*

PHLEMY!!!!

BlackMetalLady said:

AUTOPSY_666 said:

This makes me laugh every time I see it.