I farted and shit came out... I hope the smell bothers my co-workers.

i just took a shit in the bathroom and as i was finishing, another dude came in and went to the stall next to mine. he sat down and i heard the sound of gas flowing out of his ass.

i envy you

Shitting yourself is embarrassing, but it does happen. And frankly, shit does wash off. Poops can, at times, be pretty sneaky and disguise themselves as farts. Then, all of a sudden, BAM! the turtle head emerges.

I came pretty close today when I was driving, but I clenched down and made it home to pollute my toilet thoroughly.

sneaky turds

Ha ha... when I worked at Journey's my manager used that excuse to call out of work.
He's from NH, and called in, supposedly from the parking lot, to let us know he wouldn't be in because he crapped his pants as he was parking... so he had to go home and shower. The assistant manager was angry as fuck but couldn't stop laughing.

So, yeah... definitely appreciated!

my friends and i call shitting yourself granting yourself, after a buddy of ours named grant shit his pants in the middle of class.

Granny_Monster said:

LMFAO!!! What a douchebag!

dreadkill said:

http://gettherigsleeper.ytmnd.com/

Ha Bubbles is the man

http://www.ratemypoo.com/

farting is equal to gambling sometimes. you dont always win. i pride myself on bowel control, i havent shit my pants since i was about 10, though i cant deny that there are times where i am 99.9% sure that i am going to unless i find a toilet right that very millisecond. shitting is awesome, eat half a box of Frosted Mini-Wheats for dinner one night, and you'll be on cloud 9 the next day. the gas is amazing.

largefreakatzero said:

LOL.. the turtle head emerges... thats awesome

i farted last year, and some juice came out into my asscrack but didn't get on my unders. i went in the bathroom and wiped. it looked like butter with little red specks of lobster in it. i told my bandmates about it later that week at practice and dana almost threw up. whenever i want to gross him out, i say "lobster butter." it was the ultimate way to gross him out until one of our friends told a story about a lady at the hospital who got herpes on her colostomy hole.

dreadkill said:

If you guys have not yet written song lyrics about the said lady with herpes on her colostomy hole, please do.

this thread is not offical until the Horror posts in it

largefreakatzero said:

when my aidspoopgrind project actually decides to be active, we'll definitely have a song about her.

TurdSandwich said:


That would make an excellent CD cover said aidspoopgrind project

Holy CRAP! (no pun intended) - That HAS to be a picture of the Quincy Adams T station bathroom, New Year's Eve 2000. I had to piss soooo bad and that's what the bathroom looked like... looked like the pooper grabbed their ankles and pushed without sitting on the toilet and squirted their blast all over the fucking place. How does this happen?

Damn!! That looks like the bathroom at The Middleast after the Origin/Internal Suffering/Bane of Existence/Sexcrement show a couple of months ago. I had to pee, and some weirdo was frantically running out of the bathroom. He looked at me and said, "I don't know what happened in there, but it's gross!"

On top of the poop everywhere, there was also blood splattered all over the sink. I'm not even going to share the details of what I had to do just to urinate.

there was some website i saw not too long ago that was dedicated to some unknown guy at some college dorm that would shit like that all over the toilet and the wall and floor and sink and just everywhere. It had tons of pictures, aparently this guy did it evey day like clockwork but noone ever caught him.

i was gonna say that looks like the palladium bathroom... but i dont see a ton of cigarette butts or people smoking weed.

anyone who was at the palladium for the very first metalfest knows what a truly disgusting fucking bathroom looks like.


The other day my friend told me a story. She used to work for a law firm, and they were the biggest scumbags in fucking history. She worked in an office that had some apartments above it. The lawyers owned the building and they leased it out to some of the trash that lived in that neighborhood. To give you an idea of what kind of ghetto this place was, directly across the street there was a two-story building that was a porn store on the bottom and a crackhouse on the top.

One day the sewers backed up in the top floor of her building because somebody tried to flush something they shoudn't have. Some of the lawyer's office flooded with shitwater because of this. Rumor has it that the flushed object was comprised of fetal matter.

she doesn't work there anymore.

W3 nli said:

The horror is at the business show. So this thread will be unofficial for a while.

no he's not. I'm here and he's in CT.

Yeti said:

I own this, along with "The Gas we Pass."

I remember when IWEIPH played the Grow Room. It was one day after I was in this car crash where my side of the car got slammed into by these naggars going like 80 mph. Obviously we played the show anyway. I did this big David Lee Roth rock jump our third show in, and shit my pants. After the song, I informed the crowd of this fact. I jiggled my pants leg around, and it rolled out onto the floor. We started the next song and I started kicking the feces at the crowd. What a great show that was.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I shitted my pants in January 2004 while climbing through my living room window in a desperate attempt to make it to the bathroom while locked out.

I have several other stories about fecal desecration and shitting torture as well.

RichHorror said:

I'm not sure it's technically a DLR jump if you don't shit your pants.

So true.

Yeti said:

that's the best thing I've ever heard.

Anti-Turd bigotry is a response to their brown colour and indicates sublimated racism.

I liquid sharted at work once. It was so messy I threw my underwear in the trash and went commando the rest of the day.