We now introduce the newest feature to this fine website, 'Ask Jeff Shitzka About Black People'. Jeff is a Black Studies major, and therefor knows everything there is to know about black people. The floor is now open for your questions.

why do they talk so loud at the movies?

aka: crackah chat

dreadkill said:

Dear Ken,

Black folks are more likely to talk loud at the movies because it is a way of getting back at the white man for the many years of oppression. White people hate disruptions at the movie theater more than anywhere else.

Can black people fly?

thanks, jeff. if it's one thing i hate more than disruptions during sex or masturbation, it's disruptions at the movie theater.

Only when they are not being harassed by security at the gates. This is usually more of a problem for light-skinned Blacks because of an apparent similarity in appearance to terrorists.

Why are black men so fond of raping white women? I am planning on taking my wife to the cinema this weekend, and am worried for her safety.

are black people experts in the practice of witchcraft?

Actually who isn't fond of raping white women? This is not a race issue. It is an issue of disdain for women.

dreadkill said:

Ken,

No, white people invented witch craft and burned white witches. It was later found that witch with was just another word for bitch.

Why are black people such good dancers?

Why do they only buy watermelon flavored ice from me and not lemon?

hi, jeff. it seems like black people love to re-write history in movies. why?

Dear Jeff,

Why is that black people are so fond of grape soda? And why is it that they're always turning up dead and decomposing in my crawlspace?

From myspace--

'Can I ask, what are they like in bed?'.

wow

I like how the premise of this thread is that jeff has ever met a black person before. (sorry, ones you paid for or are related to don't count).

Jeff is a life-long New Bedford resident. That speaks for itself.

yeah, that speaks for whites-self.

Aaron, being from New Jersey, saw a black man the other day and thought about donating more money to victims of fire.

I'm in maine and there is a blackdude inline in front of me. that would NEVER happen in NH.

Beakey asks:

'What is that stuff on the back of black people's necks, that looks a little bit like Nestle Crunch?'

Beakey also asks:

'How come black people always like that song "Hey Ya"?'.

Actually, Black people are in fact not good dancers. It's just that white people cannot dance at all, but think they can, because they have no soul.

Learn to quote posts, you retard. Holy shit I hate you.

BornSoVile said:

Well, actually it is because of the disdain for the lemon. Many, many Blacks were workers on whaling ships during the 19th century. In order to keep the whalers from getting scurvy they would consume lemons for their high vitamin c content. Well, the lemons were boiled to take away their bitterness, but in turn destroying the vitamin c. This actually brought all seamen to believe the lemon caused scurvy. Since Blacks made up a higher percentage of the workers than whites, lemons became a representation of death and suffering. The watermelon on the other hand was believed to be on the opposite end of the spectrum.

anonymous said:

History is written by the victors. In this case, the victors are the writers of these movies.

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:

Grape soda, as well as other similar fruit flavored sodas are popular in Black communities because of marketing. Fruit flavored sodas are pushed in Black communities by advertisers. This is the same reason why menthol cigarettes are so popular in Black communities.

As for them turning up dead and decomposing in your crawlspace...

GREMLINS.

RichHorror said:

It is most likely acne or possibly razor bumps.

RichHorror said:

Because it is catchy. Kind of like the word skeet. That is just damn catchy.

SKEET!!!
SKEET!!!
SKEET!!!

RichHorror said:

Yes, you can.

Guys...one at a time please.....

mote on that interesting bit about the lemon use on 19th century whaling ships, many British seamen (ha) devoured limes due to their ability to fight scurvy, hence the name LIMEYS.

CAN WE MOTIVATE BLACK PEOPLE TO RISE UP AND MURDER THE JUDEO-CHRISTIANS? IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE SOME COMPANY IN GENOCIDE.

infoterror said:


i like this idea

Jeff Horror is really Jesus.

if black people dont want to be discriminated against, why do they insist on living the stereotype that is discriminated against?

infoterror said:

Actually, I am sorry to say the answer is no. There is not strong enough Black leadership to accomplish such a task. Sharpton, Farahkan, Jackson... I'm sorry the revolution will not be televised.

menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:

Believe it or not I am. My initials are JMC (Jesus Messiah Christ).

Yeti said:

Actually Black people are living the stereotype less than you think. If you truly want to see Black urban culture go to a predominately white community and watch the local white kids. The baggy pants, the underwear hanging of the ass, the use of the word nigger toward each other, oh and yo.

fair enough

Do all black people like chicken?