The tests came in today. Looks like a great-great-grandfather or something was a Negro. I don't know what I'm going to do. I think I'm going to kill myself, but I don't want to do it without taking down the enemies of common sense, e.g. liberals, Christians, Jews, businessmen, neoconservatives, Wiccans and Buddhists. Someone recommended a suicide bombing, but I don't want my friends and family to think I was a Muslim. I guess I'll have to leave a lengthy note and make sure there are lots of casualties. God, I cannot believe this. I'm 6.23% Black, as in African-American. If I don't kill myself, maybe I can get money from the government.

Welcome to the club.

nigger!

how the hell do they figure stuff like that out?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH if this is true its fuckign awesome HAHAHAHA what will they think at anus.com

you must have a huge fucking dick

well, being that i've been telling you to die for months now, i think this is all for the best

moe, you talking to a brothah like that?

I'm guessing this is probably a joke.

so they can test you for negro these days. fascinating.

moes the whitest black dude i know

don't pick on him, he's from dirty jersey.
the black dudes down there don't have any rolemodels so they rely on Fresh Prince reruns.
couldn't you tell by his halloween outfit?