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:	post by RTTP DEPARTMENT OF YOU SHOWED US at 2014-01-28 13:53:22

MURRUM - Upper echelon elite of the practice space / pizza party scene. Had their black metal gang voided by the internet. Still going strong.

GRAVESIDE SERVICE - Blackened kvlt tag team partners with SCOTT CONNOR. Have successfully cultivated museum quality collections of their own merch.

VATNETT VISKAR - Made fun of by RTTP. Signed a Tom Cruise caliber deal with Century Media. Rubbed it in RTTP's face. Hired Kim Kelly as undercover PR agent to write fake reviews for them. Shortly after found out why no one relevant has signed with CM in 15 years. Successfully condemned to Deafheaven afterthought status forever.

INVERTICRUX Successful multi-disciplinary artist Raymond Stevens lead band who swore they didn't need RTTP's approval to make wave. Succeeded fully by making national headlines for lamest hate crime ever. Awaiting status as Varg-esque political outlaw / prison sponge.

NOCUOUS - Weeknight show warriors so successful they can spend hours complaining about how no one comes to their 3 local shows a week.

SHROUD OF BEREAVEMENT - Back from the dead... again. Exact same fanbase dead as hypothetically back together.

ARDUOUS TASK After a slew of free publicity from RTTP PC faggets are now a mere 1,336 Facebook likes away from 1,488 Facebook likes.

VACANT EYES Sans-ego funeral doom as seen on headliner-less local band fests

DUMPSTER FIRE Hit parader Dillinger Escape Plan ripoff that can literally get on ANY Metal Thursday it wants

PARADOXICAL SPIRAL Deep space guitar genius so successful that they don't even need to release music

SAINT TO SINNER International Pawtucket metal sensation currently awaiting Grammy vote re-count. So successful Bova completely transcended the need to do situps.

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