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:	post by xmikex at 2012-02-10 10:44:19

Step 1. Go back to 1990's way of music distribution i.e. buy it, dub it, or gtfo. CD-Rs barely exist yet and it's not like you'd know what to do with them if they did. Make finding music on demand online virtually impossible. Choose between downloading enormous wav files of 10 seconds of a song, or using Real Player to stream playlists of "radio shows" that almost never update.

Step 2. Make purchasing new music a game of russian roulette where you're forced to rely on useless magazine reviews, word of mouth, and listening to music in your friend's Mustang LX. Accept an equal probability of any record you buy being awesome or terrible. Realize only later in life that magazine reviewers are too pussy to admit that newer Slayer and Machinehead records are fucking terrible. Prepare to get sold on bands like Pro-Pain, and Pissing Razors.

Step 3. Go the extra step and require anyone who wants to hear bands that don't have big label support to trade tapes, and write snail mail letters to bands with $3 tucked inside begging them to send you a demo and not steal your money.

Step 4. Watch the available population of people who claim to love music evaporate overnight like a Rapture for posers.

Step 5. Profit.

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