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:	post by MarkFuckingRichards at 2007-01-22 22:56:46

RichHorror said:

Mark should have put his penis where she was cute, is the lesson to be learned here.

haha, actually...right before i left she said "next time you can bring some whipped cream." so she had her mind where her mouth SHOULD have been.

speaking of handjobs...
i nicknamed a girl i went to college with "handjabba the hut" because she is quite big, awkward, and started to give some dude a handjob but stopped and went to bed when she asked, "you'll let me know when you're ready to finish so you can go do it in the bathroom right?" his answer was "oh, i thought i was going to finish in your mouth." to top it off she said "you can still stay over if you want, but i'm going to bed." what an idiot.

and another strange sexual tale that i've been a part of...

when i was 13 a family friend was having his annual pig roast. he had a moonwalk for the kids, so obviously i was partaking in bouncy fun. some kid pissed himself in the moonwalk, so everyone fled but i was the last one out. before i could get completely out, a 33 year old, 6' 2" manly looking hick of a whore with a half-cut lynyrd skynyrd shirt and overalls pushed me back in. she yelled "where the hell do you think you're goin'?!" with a very intoxicated breath that smelled of the inside of a boot. she pinned me against the floor of the moonwalk, unzipped my pants and fell asleep with her head on my crotch. that was awkward.

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