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:	post by thegreatspaldino at 2007-01-22 22:54:46

one time i was so fucking drunk. i was like passed out on someones lawn in one of those shitty plastic patio chairs. (i had 2 40's half a liter of raspberry vodka and other assorted shots). so i awake to something on my lap... it was this huge broad. she was trying to kiss me and stuff and i was about as good as dead. so as you can imagine, i was breaking those chairs by sitting on them when i weighed 280 and i was in shape... at this time i was 290 and this heffer was like 280. so the inevitable happened and the chairs leg snapped. we tumbled backwards and my head nailed a parked car in the driveway. so after that i got like dragged or something up to her room and i dont know what happened but i do know that i didnt fuck her. this chick has BACK TITS. not to mention facial hair. she was so ugly that a blacked out drunk dude turned her down.

to understand how drunk i was... the "chair incident" happened at like 10 pm and when i wke up at 5 am i was still so drunk that the walk home took 30 minutes instead of the usual 8. WORD.

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